My Experience with My Recent Hospitalization for Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder

My Experience with My Recent Hospitalization for Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder

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00:00
hi everyone so you may notice that I've been a little bit more absent over the last month or two and you may have seen on my Instagram or in the community section that I had a recent hospitalization and this is why I've been absent from the channel so I just wanted to provide a little bit of an update about what exactly happened what led me to be hospitalized and what that experience was like for me so my actual hospitalization took place in October but there was several factors that I want to talk first about that kind of
00:30
led up to why I was hospitalized um so I guess when it boils down to it what basically happened was that I stopped taking my medication but on top of this there were a lot of other stressful life factors going on that kind of contributed to my worsening condition and that led to me being hospitalized so these included um kind of a stressful work schedule where I was doing a lot of speaking engagements in other proper other cities throughout the province that included a lot of travel and kind
01:03
of altered sleeping schedules which really is something that really affects me when my sleeping is off that is generally early warning sign or indication that things are not going well so to have my sleep schedule kind of thrown off by work ended up being kind of harmful and I was also having different life stressors like a bit of a relationship conflict at the time and just everyday stressors like taking care of kids and another factor that I'm kind
01:35
of learning is plays a really big role in terms of my wellness and my stability is the change in the teaming of seasons so my last hospitalization was almost exactly three years ago it took place in October as well and so I think that the changing of the seasons so particularly from summer to fall and from winter to spring those are kind of periods of time that I kind of need to look out for a little bit more and be a little bit more diligent about self-care during those periods of time
02:05
so in summary of all that basically there was just a lot of different life stressors going on at the time that kind of led to a bit of a spiraling in terms of my mental wellness and this coupled with the fact that I was going through a bit of a dip in terms of my mood and I didn't have a lot of motivation or anything at the time and a lot of the negative symptoms were coming to light more and during this time I ran out of my medications and it started off with
02:36
me just not really not really caring about refilling them and not really having the motivation to go to the pharmacy and to get them refilled and that kind of spiraled into delusional thought around medication and not wanting to take the medication because I thought it was poisonous or that it was being used for mind control which I've talked about in other videos as kind of common delusions of mine so there was a lot of factors at play that kind of led to me being off medications and led to
03:08
the spiraling that happened in terms of my mental well-being so when things really got to a crisis point it was um one night where I got into a bit of a conflict with my partner because he thought that I wasn't safe to drive on my own and I really really wanted to get out of the house I was feeling really paranoid and really anxious about being in the house and being around him and I was just feeling really really paranoid and anxious and just needing to get out so we ended up
03:38
having a bit of a fight about him hiding my keys on me and that kind of escalated and he ended up calling a couple friends over to kind of help with the situation but it really just continued to escalate from there and at one point um I I just fled from the house because I just needed out and I needed to be alone and away from the triggering things that were causing my paranoia and causing my racing thoughts and whatnot and I just
04:10
needed to calm my head as much as possible and somehow I convinced myself that that meant leaving the house and just being on my own and getting into my own headspace so at one point I was running through the neighborhood trying to get away from my friends and my partner while they were chasing me and so it just it wasn't a very healthy situation and I ended up returning to the house and locking myself in in my bedroom which is when they made the decision to call for help
04:43
so they initially called the crisis response team or the crisis support team but they were unavailable at the time so they ended up calling the police who showed up pretty quickly after they called I think but I mean for anyone who's experienced the police coming from at a health crisis it's it's a little hit or miss as to how the police is going to respond to the situation and I
05:13
was really lucky that one of the police officers came in and immediately it was like Lauren um I remember you you came to talk to my my recruits class my police recruits class about schizophrenia and about your experience with schizophrenia your experiences with police officers and whatnot with schizophrenia and so that was really reassuring to have that bit of connection with her and she kind of was a little bit better informed in terms of how did how to deal with me and how to speak with me and that really helped but
05:45
it was kind of in stark contrast with her partner who took a really aggressive confrontational heart approach with me which really really didn't help and at one point I ended up running away from him and trying to hop over a fence and I got pulled back and he he kind of aggressively pulled me back into the house and threw me into a chair and so it like it's easy to understand how those situations devolve like that but I
06:16
think it's really really important to keep in mind the importance of treating people in the midst of psychosis with a lot of compassion and empathy because they're scared like I was so scared at the time I was I didn't know who to trust I my thoughts were racing I was filled with paranoid thoughts and delusions and like I didn't I didn't know how to grasp reality and the
06:44
meaning erina in a proper way and so it was really helpful for the one police officer to take a really gentle approach with me and to establish trust and a connection with me in terms of moving forward in a meaningful and constructive way so the police officers decided to put me on a form 10 which is where the police officers can decide to apprehend me under the Mental Health Act and take me to the hospital to be assessed by a
07:17
psychiatry team so one of my friends came with me in the police car and together we went to one of the local emergency rooms it was a really difficult experience I don't think that a lot of emergency rooms are really set up to adequately deal with or to really effectively help somebody who's in the throes of psychosis or who's dealing with symptoms of schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder it's it kind of devolved into a really a really
07:49
confrontational experience and there was a lot of power struggle going on within that environment that I don't think was conducive to effective treatment that said there were a few psychiatrists who I met with in the ER who were really great and they did establish rapport with me and Trust and they did a really good job but generally speaking the care there was kind of lacking and it was it was kind of an unfortunate environment for me to be in in this state that I was in in my last hospitalization I had a
08:22
really really traumatic experience in one of the basically holding cells that they have in the emergency room for psychiatric patients it's basically just a room of white cinder blocks and a metal bed frame and it's it's not a comfortable environment to be in at all and especially when I had those traumatic memories from my last one my last experience in the hospital I really really did not want to be in one of those rooms but I ended up being locked alone in one of those rooms and it was a really
08:53
really traumatic experience again I ended up being sedated with medications which had a huge effect on my memory and a lot of a lot of the three I think days that I spent in that ER room are kind of lost on me and have been filled in by my friends and family who were around at the time so what basically ended up happening was that the psychiatrist in the ER decided to to admit me to the hospital and to keep me formed under the Mental Health Act so I was an
09:23
involuntary patient in the hospital and basically my stay in the ER was basically just amines it was like a holding cell basically until they found a bed for me and it took several days for them to find a bed and I I just I think it's really unfortunate that there wasn't a lot of care provided in the ER and that was kind of a critical point in terms of the throws of my mental illness where I needed a lot of care and it was
09:55
really just a holding cell waiting for a bed to open up in a different location and I think that that's probably a gap in the current mental health care system so what I mean by a holding cell was that it really just felt like the staff there were waiting from my medications to kick in and I was really just being kept there under under somewhat observation I guess I was under observation waiting for my medications to take effect there was no additional therapy or really anyone to talk to
10:25
about what was going on or what I was experiencing and there was no additional support provided so that's why it was really really important that I was so so lucky that I had a lot of friends and family who supported me through that period and were there for me to talk to and were there to advocate for me when I couldn't advocate for myself and so that's why it's really really important to build a support network as best as possible when you're well so that you have a little bit more cushioning around
10:57
you in terms of the people in your life who are there to support and advocate for you during these tougher periods of your mental illness so when I was finally assigned a bed at a different Hospital a psychiatric hospital in town um I had to be transported there by ambulance now this was a really really terrifying thing for me because my last experience being transported to this hospital by ambulance was a really awful one I was blindfolded in the in the ambulance and
11:29
it just it was a really bad experience and traumatic experience and so I was really really terrified to get in the ambulance again but this time my partner Rob was able to ride with me so that added an additional element of security and they also gave me more tranquilizing medications which also helped to kind of alleviate the situation I don't remember a lot about it because of those tranquilizing meds that kind of just wiped my memory throughout this whole process but Rob kind of filled me in that I was I was a little difficult so
12:01
when I actually got to the psychiatric hospital the care there was a lot better substantially better than the ER that I had been in prior early previously there was less of that power struggle that was going on in terms of the staff exerting power over me and controlled the controlling dynamic and stuff and it felt like a more collaborative wellness conducive environment to be in that said
12:31
I do think that it was still a little lacking in terms of services provided in the week and a half that I was there I never once even saw my social worker I never even met him and I think that's probably a gaping hole in terms of the care that was provided there I did see an occupational therapist I don't remember a lot about that conversation because of the meds that I was on but again I had friends and family there to kind of fill me in on what happened with that and to advocate for me for me with
13:03
those support people not once did I see a psychologist or a therapist of any kind and there was no like peer support programs or anything like that it was really just seeing my kayat rest' when she was in she was really great but again seeing her the four briefly when she was in and the nurses who were on staff for the whole duration of my stay other than that it
13:32
there wasn't a lot of a lot of support staff I was only there for a week and a half which is a relatively really really short stay and it's kind of a bit of an anomaly the last time that I was hospitalized there I was there for just over a month and most people who are hospitalized there are there for at least a few weeks so it was kind of odd that I was there for sure so shortest day but I guess I'm just lucky in that sense that my body really responded to
14:03
the medications that they were giving me really quickly and so I was able to stabilize and be in a place of relative wellness where I could go home as early as possible which was only like a week and a half in which was really nice for me because I really don't like the hospital environment and so it was nice to be able to continue with my recovery at home the actual discharge process was a little lacking as well I met with my psychiatrist when I was discharged but that was it there was no discharge
14:35
planning or anything which may have been because I had a really supportive person there robbed my partner so they may have just thought that I didn't need the additional support but that was definitely something that was lacking in terms of the discharge process they also didn't didn't ensure that I was connected with my support my support team outside of the hospital which was probably another hole in terms of the care that was provided in terms of discharge but what I really wanted to
15:06
just convey with this video is to just kind of demystify the process of being hospitalized and to hopefully shed light on the fact that it's not always going to be the best environment for someone who's experienced you know mental health crisis but it's still important for you to be in that place when you are experiencing a mental health crisis be because that is where you are going to be able to be connected with the treatment that you need and I think
15:37
what's important to remember and to take away also from this is just the earlier or the earliest that you can that you can intervene in your own care and earliest that you can get connected with supports and supports and care the better because the more clear-headed you are and the less the less symptoms that you're experiencing the more receptive you are going to be to the help that the system can provide you and the more
16:10
receptive the system is going to be to providing you keep that care so I think that just a huge takeaway that I want to convey is that is the importance of early intervention and the importance of reaching out for help as early as possible in order to kind of mitigate the negative components of the mental health care system and to just try to make it as best of a experience for yourself as possible the other really important thing that I want to convey in a kind of touched on it earlier in this
16:41
video was just the importance of having a really strong support network around you this was so crucial in terms of this hospitalization for me because when you're hospitalized under the Mental Health Act or for a mental health issue you're there because because the staff or the support teams there don't find you competent or don't find you mentally fit and so it's really important to have people around you who care about your
17:12
opinion and who care about what you're saying and what you're feeling and who can advocate for you in those circumstances when you can't necessarily advocate for yourself because they disregard what you're saying or just because you're not in a state to really advocate for yourself so thank you so much for watching this video I hope that it was helpful in terms of kind of demystifying the process of being hospitalized and just kind of shedding a little bit more light on what a hospitalization might look like or what might
17:43
to a hospitalization for someone who's living with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder it's not the easiest for me to talk openly about this experience with being hospitalized because there is still so much stigma around being hospitalized from mental health issue especially having to deal with different components of the mental health care system like police and like the nursing the ers or the nursing staff at the ER the psychiatric hospital there
18:13
is just there's a lot of stigma around accessing those kind of supports and services but I want to just kind of reiterate that there is no shame around accessing these services and it's not something that you should feel that you need to hide or that you should feel shameful over if you need the help make sure to reach out and don't let the negative stigma around it hamper your decision to reach out for that help so thanks so much for your continued support of both me and this channel I'm hoping to be back making more videos for
18:44
you all and if you want to support the creation of future videos make sure to check out my patreon page where you can help support the creation of videos on this channel thanks so much again for watching and wishing you and your loved ones good health [Music]

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