HOW TO DEAL WITH A DISRESPECTFUL ADULT CHILD (4 WAYS TO KNOW IF THEY'RE TOXIC)

HOW TO DEAL WITH A DISRESPECTFUL ADULT CHILD (4 WAYS TO KNOW IF THEY'RE TOXIC)

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00:01
hey you guys i hope you're doing well today um i wanted to jump on here today and talk to you about four signs um that you will know if you have a toxic adult child um it's actually more common than you think and these toxic children can come from very good homes etc and it all boils down to a lot of times what has happened in their childhood so for those of you that are new here my name is sally harris and i help moms i help moms of defiant
00:33
or toxic adult children i help those moms create a plan devise a plan that go through boundaries enabling and most of all um different ways of having the mom really think about how this relationship with their adult child is affecting their life so i help moms regain their own life in the midst of crisis so um if you're interested in having a chat about that if you're if you find yourself in that situation um i'll put a link below to
01:04
a free discovery call and i would be honored to talk with you so um four signs that you have a toxic adult child so number one um actually before i go there so again i want you moms to think about if any of these resonate with you i want you to think about how it's affecting your life um because you know experts say that if there's been some trauma in a child's life usually emotionally they get stuck at that age and so um
01:35
and i know also if they're using drugs that in itself can halt that emotional growth so the dysfunction um is very common and many times emotionally they get stuck between ages of five and seven so but how do you recognize these signs so number one is physical health issues so if you have an adult child who is clearly just not taking care of themselves they find it really hard to function as an adult um you know with regular adult responsibilities because they're
02:05
reacting with childlike emotions so the two don't do not jive right um so if you notice that and there's a lot of toxic stress um they're eating poorly low activity so they're not taking care of their health physical health at all um and with that i believe too is emotional health because i think that's just as important as our physical health um number two is broken relationships typically they can't make a relationship work your relationship with them is likely
02:36
broken or um you know definitely stressed right their relationship with significant other with a boyfriend or girlfriend with friends even just friendships there's there's always conflict so they're unable to have a relationship um they have ten tantrums literally an adult throwing temper tantrums um they don't know how to communicate so that's why these relationships fall apart because there's no communication it's just reaction and it's reacting from a childlike emotion
03:07
and of course definitely no apology very rare will they apologize because they don't think they've done anything wrong number three kind of goes back to what i mentioned but substance abuse so many many many of these kids have substance abuse um majority of the time i think i could safely say majority of the time number one i think you and i both know that when people start drinking or maybe they try drugs for the first time none of them
03:38
are thinking oh i want to be an addict coming from someone who could not handle alcohol okay when i first started drinking i certainly didn't think that that was going to happen but it does it sneaks up on you and it's a slippery slope um and our kids our adult children are reliving their pain of trauma from whatever whenever whatever whenever that happened um trauma is a big word right and i think people think oh well that's not happened to my child well i hope not
04:10
but i also think that we've all gone through trauma trauma can be small things too it can be doesn't have to be a major event but doesn't take much to traumatize us and to have certain things affect us in ways that it sticks with us so um that is that is an issue for many of them and number four is uh blaming of course it's never their fault right like i said earlier they don't apologize and that's hard on moms because as moms we're usually the one that is um
04:40
uh affected the most majority of the time because we're mom and they take everything out on us and i know what that feels like um but at the same time don't ever ever ever want you to give up hope because sometimes when we can understand why these things are happening it makes it easier to deal with versus just having no idea what's going on why they're acting this way so what do you do about it well a few things is stand firm you have to stand firm because if you're not taking care of yourself
05:12
as a mom your life is going to be destroyed okay and then as i've mentioned before if you've watched any of my other videos um what what happened so many times is this stress and this trauma the mom becomes traumatized literally and she stops taking care of herself starts drinking over eating fill in the blank could be any or all of the above and we all know that chronic disease does not start does not happen overnight happens over a
05:44
long period of time right and i have seen it so many times where moms are not taking care of themselves and their child's off doing xyz not in their life they're stressed out right the mom's stressed out because the kid's not in their life but then the kid turns their life around and starts living life maybe gets married has a child and where's where are you where's mom you're sick you've got a chronic disease by now
06:14
because you did not stand firm so you have to stay confident and you have to keep hope um also don't do it alone um i would be honored to talk with you if not see a therapist see a counselor i am not a certified counselor i'm a mom who's been there for 10 years and i know the road that you're walking on and our walks don't have to be identical but our mama's heart is the same
06:44
so you need to be kind but strong you need to tell them that they're loved but you don't have to put up with abuse and i know a lot of moms who are putting up with abuse and basically get educated whether um you know whoever it is that you talk to and don't be um i think the biggest thing and i know i did this for for several years um you know in the beginning we lived in a smaller town and you think i don't want anybody to know i don't anybody know what's going on but you know what
07:15
the minute i changed that and i started being vocal about what was going on in our life you know god sends people to you like people come into your life who are able to help you right you can help them they help you you're able to give to them and they reciprocate and they you're able to learn from each other and whether it's a small group or a support group or you know anything like that so it's just really crucial to not go this alone um so if that resonates with any of you today and i know there's a lot of moms out
07:47
there that are dealing with this so um i would be honored to chat with you but um even if if that's not something you want to do i encourage you to talk to somebody because you're not meant to do life alone so i hope you guys have a good rest of the day thanks bye

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