6 Ways Childhood Trauma Cptsd Follows You into Adult Relationships

6 Ways Childhood Trauma Cptsd Follows You into Adult Relationships

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hello friends today i want to talk about six things that you might see in your life if you had childhood trauma and remember that when i say childhood trauma it doesn't always have to be something overt and it doesn't even have to be something that was done intentional and again there could be many different reasons for this but today i just wanted to focus on some symptoms you could look for and the reason i want to talk about the symptoms is because i'm gonna be dead honest there was a
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time in my life where if somebody said michelle did you have childhood trauma i probably would have said no because i didn't really understand what that encompassed right especially if you have a roof over your head you have all of your physical needs being met and things look a certain way to the outside world and especially if the people in your life have this perception of what your childhood was like that's different from what you thought
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your perception was it could be really confusing so basically i'm giving these symptoms because they were symptoms i wish i had come across when i was 19 and 20 years old and i could have evaluated what had happened and how it had affected me and gotten help a whole lot sooner so with that in mind let's get started for those that don't know me my name is michelle i'm a life and relationship coach i'm also the founder of the thriver school of transformation which is an interactive monthly membership where we talk about everything i talk about on
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this channel but we find ways to put it into practice in our daily life okay it's an international community we meet live weekly if you feel like that's something that could help you on your healing journey make sure you check out the links in the description box below number one is you don't feel safe or comfortable in your own skin every single human being has the right to be their own unique authentic self even god himself grants free will to everyone
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right and when you have been allowed to be your authentic self there's a sense of a strong sense of self and there's a confidence it's comfortable being you well if you've been through childhood trauma you don't feel that you don't feel comfortable in your own skin you probably don't know why and you're not blaming anybody in fact you're probably blaming yourself you probably think there's something wrong with you for not feeling comfortable in your own skin when the reality is is that this often comes about because maybe you were taught
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conditional love where you were loved if and when you did something that was you know either approved of or beneficial to your caregiver but that was the only time you really saw any displays of love or affection and maybe when you made a mistake it was so strongly um pointed out and it could have been done in a very shame-based way you started to feel
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uncomfortable simply being imperfect symptom number two is that you don't have self-trust right there's a lack of feeling connected to your authentic self inside and some of the ways that this manifests are in a fear of making decisions you're afraid to make the wrong decision you're afraid you're unable to kind of figure out what's the best decision because maybe your inner self knows and you get that that gut instinct
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that tells you do this or don't do that but then you override it with a voice that says oh no you know don't think that way or it's not so bad and that often comes about when um let's say in childhood where you you expressed a perception and or you regularly expressed a perception and it was either minimized ridiculized or ignored right or or you were made to
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feel bad or wrong for having that perception well in childhood you don't have the emotional maturity to say well that person's allowed to have their perspective but i'm still allowed to have my own no you actually feel so shamed that you start feeling like you can't trust yourself a third symptom is if you feel very uncomfortable if somebody doesn't like you or you feel
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fear of making someone upset and how this shows up in your adult life is that you wind up morphing your personality into being whatever your significant other wants you to be or or thinking or you think that's what they want or you think they'll be upset if you show your authentic self and so you're always hiding yourself and you never really feel authentic in romantic relationships but sometimes you don't even feel authentic with your friends
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i remember a time where i was thinking i was thinking wow you know i i have these friends and they feel so close to me because they share everything with me but they don't even know me now i wish i had realized that they didn't know me because i didn't let them know me right whenever they wanted to talk i made it all about them when they showed interest in me i minimized myself and again pointed the finger towards them so i was never myself in those
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friendships so there's that lack of authenticity where you don't reveal your authentic self and maybe you you're like a puzzle you're a puzzle that you show this puzzle piece to that person you show this puzzle piece to that person these little pieces of yourself that you think other people will understand but you never just show up as your whole authentic self and this bleeds into the fourth symptom which is people pleasing right when you aren't your authentic self and you're afraid of
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people getting upset you begin to live life doing everything you can to make sure other people are happy and this causes you and your adult life to feel responsible for other people's feelings now obviously what we do affects the people we're in relationships with however we are not responsible for how other people choose to feel so if we struggle with this what you'll see in your you know your grown-up adult romantic
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relationships is that if you feel responsible for someone not being happy and you have this people pleasing that will kick on and you will be living life trying to make everyone else happy except accept you like if you really looked at it the only person that you don't people please is yourself but you wind up people pleasing everyone else the fifth symptom that you might see in your life is self-abandonment
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now again it wasn't until it wasn't until i hit rock bottom that i even realized that i abandoned myself right how sad to wait so long again these are things that i wish i knew when i graduated high school self-abandonment how that shows up is when you're feeling a feeling you wind up either minimizing it you ignore it you're completely externally focused all the time you're not focused on self you
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don't show up for yourself and when an emotion comes up into your body right let's say you feel shame you feel sad rather than being there for yourself like you would a good friend that's upset your inner dialogue is probably super super harsh and the reason for that is because every inner voice this is a video that i i've played in my workshops and i don't think i played it yet in my membership but every inner voice starts out as an
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outer voice in other words if in your childhood you were told things you're so stupid you never do anything right you're gonna fail why do you even bother you're such a this you're such a that well guess what if you listen to your inner dialogue even if the people in your childhood that hurt you aren't around you're probably finishing the job because you may have internalized that inner dialogue and when you're feeling down and you
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need to feel better you wind up kicking yourself when you're down because that's what happened in childhood so if you notice that you notice that then again these are the side effects from childhood trauma that we need to address we need to address these things because if we don't we will continue to play out the patterns the beliefs the programs that unhealthy people kind of installed in you you wind up
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playing them throughout your life in every aspect of your life whether it's career relationships family it winds up being generational so we definitely want to take you know bring this into our conscious awareness so we could start changing it and the last thing that i wanted to mention is especially if you had a childhood where there were narcissistic dynamics you have fear of emotions that don't make sense in other words you fear emotions that you shouldn't have to fear like
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happiness okay if anyone fears being happy if anyone fears success because they're afraid something horrible is gonna happen it's probably because in your childhood anytime you were happy that was when the the shoe dropped i always get phrases wrong right the shoe drops um that's when something negative or bad happened so what happens is your brain starts associating happiness with
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something bad happening and now you're an adult and you actually shy away from things that make you happy because of the body sensations that come up inside of you as a result so evaluate evaluate if maybe you did go through some emotional trauma and there's no need to like focus or stay focused on the why it's more important to notice it to bring it into your conscious awareness and then start to do something about it because
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as challenging as these behaviors and symptoms can be as much as they have stolen happiness right from your life from your relationships you can change them you can overturn these old patterns and create new ones and if you're struggling to do that on your own i end every video now saying the same thing make sure you check out the thriver school of transformation because that's what we do every month we take some aspect of how narcissistic abuse
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how complex ptsd has changed how who we really are and how it's kind of taken from the life that we want to live and we find ways to create new patterns new beliefs new actions new thought processes so that we can live the best life that we can as our most authentic self so i always leave the link for anyone that wants to join this beautiful international community

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