How to Integrate Your Shadow - The Dark Side is Unrealized Potential

How to Integrate Your Shadow - The Dark Side is Unrealized Potential

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Language: English

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00:05
good does not become better by being exaggerated but worse and a small evil becomes a big one through being disregarded and repressed the shadow is very much a part of human nature and it is only at night that no shadows exist Curl young stressed that an individual's proper goal is wholeness not perfection the path to a greater character to a more effectual approach to life lies in integrating those elements of our psyche that for too long have been repressed and denied the elements that make up what Jung called
00:36
our unconscious shadow side what is it that most people deny and repress into their shadow all that is deemed bad or immoral by society all that is frowned upon by our family or peers all the traits that when initially expressed were ridiculed shunned or met with punishment but given that no moral code is perfect and no family or peer group is ideal in adapting to the social world we not only repressed a destructive elements of our personality such as our unbridled sexuality anger and untamed animal impulses but we also repressed
01:07
positive and life promoting characteristics perhaps our assertiveness was frowned upon our early attempts at creativity ridiculed or maybe our competitiveness or ambition was felt by those close to us to be a threat as a result of repressive elements of our personality into our shadow we were made tame obedient predictable perhaps likeable but at the cost of our vitality and psychological wholeness in this video we are going to explore how to integrate our shadow and analyze the connection between our shadow and greatness of self
01:38
for his Edward Whitman wrote the shadow when it is realized is the source of renewal when there is an impasse and sterile time in our lives despite an adequate ego development we must look to the dark hitherto unacceptable side which has been at our conscious disposal to begin we must examine how our dark hitherto unacceptable side can be a key to unlock our potential for doesn't conventional wisdom warn us that our dark side consists of a wickedness we need to overcome but the connection between the integration of our shadow
02:10
and the development of a greater character becomes clearer when we understand a Jung's assertion that the integration of the shadow leads to self-reliance this into raishin of the shadow leads to disobedience and disgust but also to self-reliance without which individuation is unthinkable in becoming aware of the shadow first as an intellectual concept and then via introspection and reflection we seek to discover what our own personal shadow consists of we awaken to a moral conflict to the troubling idea that a
02:41
portion of our personality is at odds with contemporary morality and with what our family peers in society judges good and evil in the attempt to protect our personality this recognition can motivate us to take a stance with Nietzsche beyond good and evil and to examine the morality we have been socialized into in undergoing such an examination we are likely to discover how much hypocrisy complacency and fear underlies many of the moral injunctions we obey and furthermore that ridicule
03:11
and moral condemnation are often driven by Envy in response to this realization we may feel the need to behave in ways less in line with a dominant moral code of our day ways considered evil by social morality it is not that we want to become evil in a sense of turning criminal or committing heinous acts against our fellow man but evil in the sense of detaching ourselves from what we see as the flaws of our moral code so we can reconnect with the parts of our personality we lost in our shadow long ago as Eric Norman a student of Jung's
03:42
explained the psychological analysis of any normal development we'll make it clear that if he is to grow up it is not merely unavoidable but actually essential that the individual should do and assimilate a certain amount of evil and that he should be able to overcome the conflicts involved in this process the achievement of Independence involves the capacity of the ego not only to adopt the values of the collective but also to secure the fulfillment of those needs of the individual which run counter to collective values and this
04:14
entails doing evil most people are horrified at the thought of questioning or heaven forbid breaking the moral code they were socialized into they believed the value judgments good and evil imposed on them by their schooling parents peers and society are written into the fabric of reality itself they do not understand that a morality like a society can be sick and in need of overcoming and so for the common man and woman the existence of the shadow poses too great a threat to their fragile self-image a self-image that was
04:45
constructed over years of adjusting to who they thought others expected and wanted them to be but in never mustering up the courage to confront the elements of one shadow it does not go away rather it puts one in the unfortunate position of susceptibility to possession by its destructive side to following in the tragic footsteps of dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde for in public most people are conscientious moral and moderate but behind closed doors and in the comfort of hearth and home their shadow at times turns them into marionettes unconscious
05:16
victims of addictions strange compulsions fits of irrational anger and a myriad of other self-destructive behaviors man has to realize that he possesses a shadow which is the dark side of his own personality if only for the reason that he is so often overwhelmed by it or as Carl young warned by not being aware of having a shadow you declare a part of your personality to be non-existent then it enters the kingdom of the non-existent which swells up and takes on enormous proportions if you get rid of qualities
05:47
you don't like by denying them you become more and more unaware of what you are you declare yourself more and more non-existent and your Devils will grow fatter and fatter as denying our shadow only renders us prone to possession by its destructive side integrating our shadow into our conscious personality is crucial for our well-being to gain some insight regarding how to do this we are going to focus on the integration of one shadow characteristic many of us desperately need to integrate that being our aggression in modern society the
06:19
word aggression typically stimulates thoughts of violence and destruction in other words we focus only on one side of the aggressive coin for there is a healthy form of aggression that is imperative not only to our psychological health but our survival this form of aggression fuels our sense of self ownership emboldened us in the face of fear and ignites the drive to explore and master the world outside US and with aggression is not necessarily destructive at all over at the psychoanalyst Clara Thompson it Springs from an innate tendency to grow and
06:51
master life which seems to be characteristic of all living matter only when this life force is obstructed in its development due ingredients of anger rage or hate become connected with it unfortunately for many of us the life force of aggression was obstructed throughout our development our displays of aggression whether constructive or otherwise were not met with encouragement or understanding but frowns punishment and even violence and so to adapt to our environment and minimize conflict we learn to repress
07:22
our aggression into our shadow side and if thereafter became susceptible to anger rage and hate based on decades of experience with patience the psychotherapists Alexander Lowen observed that many individuals have an unconscious murderous rage which they feel they must keep buried out of fear of its destructive potential such rage is like an unexploded bomb which one dares not touch if we have repressed our aggression into our shadow how can we integrate it in a way that alleviates our anger and propels us towards
07:52
wholeness and greatness of character the following passage provides some pertinent warnings and clues there is no generally effective technique for assimilating the shadow it is more like diplomacy or statesmanship and it is always an individual matter first one has to accept and take seriously the existence of the shadow second one has to become aware of its qualities and intentions this happens through conscientious attention to moods fantasies and impulses third a long process of negotiation is unavoidable
08:23
after we take seriously the existence of the shadow we next need to pay close attention to our moods and fantasies do we experience a simmering anger for no apparent reason maybe we have recurring fantasies born of resentment bitterness self hate the desire for destruction or revenge in either case it is likely we have not adequately integrated our aggression into our conscious personality to initiate this integration process we can seek safe controlled and productive outlets within which we can start acting with more aggression the
08:55
most obvious out latest find a competitive sport martial art or exercise regime whereby we can begin to reconnect to our aggressive instincts but we can also for example work on becoming more assertive in our behavior more decisive in our choices we're more inclined to stand our ground when tested by our co-workers family or peers as young explained this integration of the shadow cannot take place and be put to a useful purpose unless one can admit the tendencies bound up with the shadow and allow them some measure of realization
09:26
tempered of course with the necessary criticism as we undergo this process we need to be careful not to overcompensate in our behavior of all evil I deem you capable wrote Nietzsche therefore I want the good from you verily I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws for the goal in integrating our aggression is not to become a bad person but to get in touch with the repressed energies and potentials needed to sculpt the great and powerful character we want
09:57
to become capable of acting with force not to be forceful potentially dangerous not a violent criminal able to stand up for ourselves in what we believe in not a vicious and mean if we can extrapolate the integration method just outlined and use it to integrate other shadow characteristics perhaps those tied to our sexuality our creativity our ambition or desire for power we will start to notice our personality transform in a myriad of dramatic ways we will become more grounded more secure
10:27
in our skin more independent in our moral judgements more courageous and self-reliant in short in integrating our shadow we will move towards the ideal of psychological wholeness and this is the ideal that produces the greatness of character that is sorely missing in this modern world the acceptance of the shadow involves a growth in depth into the ground of one's own being a new depth and rootedness and stability is born you

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