High-range narcissists (watch out for them!)

High-range narcissists (watch out for them!)

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00:06
all right everybody so here's a question for you where's the line between a narcissist and a psychopath because there is a point where narcissism kind of starts bleeding it's kind of a bad metaphor but bleeding into psychopathy it's that tiny gap right after malignant narcissism however narcissism and psychopathy are distinct entities the psychopaths aren't so plagued by insecurity and anxiety they do really well under stress they're very cool
00:37
operators and they're smart as hell most importantly they lack remorse and these top notes distinguish the psychopaths from their very close cousins the malignant narcissists i have worked with clients who were managing severe high end as we call them narcissists and it took us a minute to figure out if what they were managing was straight up psychopathy or what i term the neurotic psychopath which is in essence
01:07
the malignant narcissist this video is part of a series on the continuum of narcissism the low end of narcissism sort of the mid-range of narcissism and here we are at the high end or the more frightening scary severe end of narcissism on a continuum and as always please consider giving this video a like thumbs up if you find it helpful and please subscribe and turn on those notifications so you don't miss any of the videos that come out every day
01:39
so let's talk about the high end the sort of more severe end of the narcissistic continuum the experience of people who are in relationships with the more severe narcissistic folks is very simply put much more frightening much more destabilizing cycle much more psychologically harmful and traumatic than the experiences people have with narcissists who are sort of further down
02:10
this continuum people are more mid-range and low-range narcissists by and large at this high more severe end this is where we find the really severe grandiose narcissists and the malignant narcissists in the high end severe narcissistic folks we have all the usual stuff the lack of empathy but it's like really cold lack of empathy like they literally do not care in any way and will face down any
02:42
emotion or vulnerability from you and instead if you were showing vulnerability to them will regard people with icy contempt their entitlement can be dangerous and they may harm people who they feel get in their way their grandiosity often extends to their hyped up sense of how much they can get away with their validation seeking comes more from sort of from fear they feel validated when they know people may be afraid of them when
03:14
the narcissistic person knows they have the power to make or break someone and that people envy them they are very controlling and you may see this in a sort of obsessive precision and how they maintain their surroundings how they live how they expect things to be it can be very scary to work for someone like this and they are very controlling in their relationships as well and can be prone to
03:45
basically stalker-like possessiveness often tracking their partners via devices on tracking devices on their cars or on their phones or even in the house these are folks that are deeply competitive and winning and vindictiveness even more than winning are governing principles for them so it's all the stuff we talk about narcissism but it's more severe and worse it's much more frightening now if any of you had an experience with
04:17
a high-end severe narcissistic person please share your story in the comments and even some of the patterns you experienced because i think that when you recognize you're not alone with this it helps but also in this mix when we're talking about the high-end narcissism is more paranoia sadism and people like this are very exploitative and they take advantage of people the sort of classical throwing people under the bus and in high-end narcissism then they drive the bus over the people that they just threw under it
04:51
the paranoia is manifested as really truly believing people are out to get them and they create complex theories at an almost delusional level of how people are trying to take advantage of them or harm them professionally or personally they will have no problem maligning people publicly slandering them or harming their reputations if they feel wronged by them more severe and more malignant
05:22
narcissism is also characterized by a more callous style while they may be able to turn on the charm or even the charisma for a minute initial at least initially or i guess in small doses over time their coldness is their prevailing style manipulation characters characterizes everything these higher end narcissistic people do by and large every person in their orbit
05:52
is judged on how useful they are and whether they satisfy a need for them typically those needs would be power or profit or pleasure or validation or all of the above and they will dismiss or discard anyone who doesn't fit those roles but they will use them until they don't need them anymore these severe narcissists will never take responsibility and are masterful at blame shifting often one of the only
06:24
things that stops a person with this kind of personality is finally getting arrested being found guilty and doing time and even then until the bitter end they will blame other people for their downfall and sadly if you're dealing with a more wealthy narcissist because of their power and privilege those folks can often get away with it for a really really long time the rage in more severe high-end
06:54
narcissistic folks is terrifying in the higher again more severe ends of this narcissism continuum is where we'll see all kinds of different forms of violence physical violence sexual violence psychological violence verbal violence everything sets them off frustration disappointment narcissistic injuries someone else winning a sense that someone's looking at them the wrong way or that they or their family just aren't
07:26
being treated the way they believe they're entitled to and they will lash out the closer they are to being psychopathic then they are more calculating and how they express that rage people who are more calculating may be savvy enough to not do it in a way that will get them arrested or they will do it in private so they don't look bad to other people but they will express that rage in a
07:55
terrifying way and anyone in a relationship with a more severe narcissistic person will characterize the relationship as terrifying basically living in an unpredictable hell of not knowing what will set the scary person off not knowing when the rage will escalate to something more whether the violence will culminate in death whether the verbal violence will become physical and that menace or suggestion
08:27
of escalation is something the more severe narcissistic people will capitalize on since everyone is so scared of them and the fear everyone has of them means that they can control them more this can happen in a family with a severe high-end narcissistic parent in an intimate relationship with a very severe narcissistic partner in a workplace with a tyrannical boss
08:59
everyone falls into line and is broken by the terror and the fear of the narcissistic abuse the pattern of coercive control which i have talked about in the past is also something we see with more severe malignant narcissism remember that coercive control is a form of psychological abuse in which a person is slowly psychologically dismantled
09:29
their identity and their autonomy are taken the fear of abuse is always present and the person is isolated from any form of help it is characterized by chronic criticism monitoring of the abused partner like basically monitoring a person's phone monitoring their social media using cameras in the house putting spyware on devices putting tracking devices in cars and in bags or limiting a person's
10:00
freedom encouraging the person to leave paid employment so they can even be more trapped or taking away their mode of transportation financially controlling them demanding that a partner or person dress a certain way setting the times when a person can go to sleep or wake up fighting with them in the middle of the night so as to disrupt their sleep telling them what to eat how much to eat and constantly constantly accusing someone of cheating
10:32
or flirting you may also see sexual coercion demanding sex requiring success requiring sex or obsessive jealousy and making constant accusations of infidelity and perhaps even going so far as requiring the partner who's controlled in this coercive dynamic to always look down or close their eyes when other people walk by we also see patterns like threatening to abuse children or pets or other dependents in the home
11:02
reaching out to people that the abused partner knows and harassing them as well or telling the abused partner bad things about the people in their life there are actually laws against coercive control in the united kingdom and in california but these can these can be tough cases to make in court and the judicial systems do not always seem to have caught up with the legislation and the way that the severe narcissist high-end narcissists work the cold
11:34
calculated taking a part of a life of another human being this is what the severe narcissistic person does best actually it's also what we observe in cult setting in cult settings and honestly all cult leaders are either severe malignant narcissists or straight up psychopaths for people in more severe narcissistic relationships they may feel as though their experience is something far worse and different
12:05
than that we observed in sort of the more mid-range and low-range narcissistic relationships and they're right the psychological harm that comes to people in these more severe narcissistic relationships or with narcissistic people at the highest range it presents like trauma because it is and it can be dangerous resulting in death or injury in some cases as well as significant psychological harm
12:38
at the at the highest end and we will have these resources posted just click the link in the top right corner of this video with the most severe cases of narcissistic abuse working with law enforcement domestic violence agencies or getting legal guidance may be essential given that the dangers are far higher but frighteningly many of these sort of higher end more severe narcissistic
13:08
people are actually in charge of stuff like countries companies universities hospitals non-profits their own businesses or they just have lots of money and power so while it's easy to see these folks as identifiable villains don't be so sure that everyone else is going to be willing to identify them in fact their ability to take their masks on and off to be cruel and private and then put on a great and charismatic
13:39
public face is much smoother than you can imagine unless you've been through it and it can leave those being abused by them even more isolated and in harm's way so i hope this series was informative i know it's very important to recognize that narcissism is on this continuum and may be why people wonder if this term narcissism really applies to their situation it's a big word that requires qualifiers
14:09
like the different types grandiose malignant vulnerable communal and so on different severity low mid-range and high but ultimately in all cases people in these relationships feel harmed they are harmed by the manipulation the confusion the fear the gaslighting and the sense that they have lost themselves we are in this together everyone who's trying to push back on narcissistic
14:41
abuse but the continuum does teach us why all of these stories are so different so i do hope that everyone in this community can band together because we're all going through these difficult situations but to also understand why sometimes your story may not sound or look like someone else's it's taken a toll on us but i have to say with these folks who are more severe severely narcissistic and on the higher end of the continuum the harm that can be done is actually quite tremendous thank you again

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