HOW TO SPOT A NARCISSIST IN THE WORKPLACE: 7 Ways to Identify Narcissists at Work

HOW TO SPOT A NARCISSIST IN THE WORKPLACE: 7 Ways to Identify Narcissists at Work

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are you dealing with some crazy-making behavior in the workplace we have all been there and there's a good chance that whether you realize that are not everyone in this audience as long as you have been in a work environment has or will encounter a narcissist at some point in their professional career now this isn't meant to scare you but in work environments narcissism is often rewarded so whether somebody is NPD level or not you're going to encounter
00:30
people with highly narcissistic behaviors at work now not everyone who succeeds in business is a narcissist not by far narcissists are still in the minority thank goodness but in this video I'm going to explore seven signs that you're dealing with a narcissist at work and then we're going to talk about the differences between having a narcissistic boss and a narcissistic co-worker because your life can look a lot different depending on which you're dealing with and I have a few tips for
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you to handle it either way for now let's dive into those seven signs welcome to the common ego community my name is Christina and on this channel we explore emotional abuse its connection with spirituality and we attempt to answer the question where do we go from here so if that all sounds good to you be sure you're subscribed and hit that notification bell so you don't miss a thing and if you're already subscribed thank you and welcome back today we're gonna cover a much requested topic from you all in this community narcissists in the workplace so let's go ahead and jump
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right in with the seven signs you're dealing with a narcissist in the workplace the first sign is shift responses and we've talked about this in another video but in the workplace you will see it as well a shift response is when you say something maybe you're telling a story or sharing an experience that happened to you or maybe you'll have an idea that you want to share right so you're sharing you're talking if you're talking to an our sisters some kind of even near a narcissist they will
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shift the conversation to them and work it could happen when you're talking about something personal or it could happen when you're trying to share an idea that you have so it could be in a meeting and you're in a meeting with a narcissist and so you present your idea and that person chimes in oh yeah that's great but here's why it's not going to work and here's my idea very likely almost always this person is interrupting you so it's like they're stepping all over you to get themselves back in the spotlight another sign that
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you're dealing with a narcissist at work is name-dropping so if they went to an Ivy League school oh my goodness you're gonna hear about it if they have any credentials that are unique or highly regarded in your industry you're gonna hear about those two you're gonna hear about anything that they think is special to them and maybe other people think these things are special too but there's a limit to the amount of times that you really want to hear about it his name dropping can also come up as an association with somebody who they think
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is special and this you'll see all very often with a covert narcissist if they've worked with somebody who is maybe famous in your industry or just famous in general or even if they have a personal relationship with the boss that's something they're going to bring up over and over and over again make themselves feel like they're so much more special than anyone else around it also really it's an attempt to make everyone else around believe that - but
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we know that when somebody really is great and awesome and confident they don't do those things they don't scream about their accomplishments because they don't have to so the fourth sign you're dealing with a narcissist at work is that this person is going to lack follow-through now narcissists are very very often charismatic people so they are going to be really good at sharing their ideas and getting people to listen to them and they're also gonna be good at
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manipulating people so you believe that something is good even if it's not the problem is and here's where it all falls apart regardless of where narcissist is in the company regardless of their standing or their position they're going to expect that other people are actually going to do the work to follow through on their idea so even if this person does manages no one they managed no one but themselves they'll have their idea and then when it doesn't come to fruition and the boss is
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looking at them for answers they're gonna start pointing fingers to everyone around them well I did this part but you know I was just waiting for this person to do their part this person didn't do this and that person didn't do that they're going to shift the blame all around so it doesn't fall on that so the fifth sign you're dealing with a narcissist in the workplace is illegal or immoral behavior and this is when you know you're dealing with somebody who is very highly narcissistic grandiosity is
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a very large part of narcissistic personality disorder and somebody who has feelings of grandiosity or superiority they very often will feel like they're above the law so these are the people who are going to do illegal or immoral things in the workplace and probably outside of the workplace too these are the people who are going to steal customers from the company and they might be running a side business and using company resources to
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personally profit they may also be getting kickbacks from vendors or suppliers so every time the company orders from this place the narcissist gets a kickback number six the sixth sign that you are dealing with a narcissist at work is that this person is very very very sensitive to criticism now no one likes to be criticized and a lot of it has to do with the delivery in the workplace in a professional
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environment you need to be able to handle constructive criticisms again we can all be defensive at times so what we're talking about when we're talking about identifying narcissists as patterns of these behaviors so if if you notice somebody who could never accept criticism even when it's extremely gentle and constructive they could never admit that they've done anything wrong and are always blame shifting you are very likely dealing with a narcissist in
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the workplace yeah so did I save the best for last maybe this is where the flying monkeys come in this is passive-aggressive behavior that you see in the workplace that is another sign that you're dealing with a narcissist it doesn't always show up in the form of flying monkeys but I've seen it myself in the workplace and it is not pretty so passive-aggressive behavior though can show up in a variety of ways it can be hostile joking so you're standing with a group of co-workers maybe you're
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laughing about something and the narcissist comes over and makes a joke that insults you and then says haha just kidding and you're dealing with somebody who does this consistently you're probably dealing with some viewers very highly narcissistic tendencies what they're trying to do is embarrass you and reduce your standing in the social group another example of passive-aggressive behavior that a narcissist may display in the workplace is playing the victim so they're probably gonna be the ones the one pushing your buttons but then they're
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gonna be the victim when yeah we should all be conscious of our reactions we should all try to control our reactions and remain completely professional in the workplace and if you don't that's certainly something that you have to own but if you notice that somebody is constantly triggering you regardless of how you react you're probably dealing with a narcissist okay so now for those flying monkeys so I worked with someone a few years ago and she had gotten her friend a job at the same company and it wasn't long before this friend
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turned everyone against the front who had recommended her for this very job and it started out very much as just a tense situation you could tell that there was tension you could tell that there was a lot of gossip ended up in full-on adult bullying to the point where this person was crying at work and there is a happy ending but that happy ending involved her leaving this toxic environment this flying monkey situation can be so so
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toxic in the work environment because unlike when it happens personally what happens personally a lot of times you can walk away you can cut contact with the people who are the flying monkeys of the narcissist but when it happens at work you still have to show up to work every day so this this can affect you on so many levels it can affect you physically it can affect the stress can affect your physical health it can affect you
09:26
certainly emotionally and spiritually when you're dealing with a narcissist at work it's a very very toxic work environment that brings me to the discussion about having a narcissistic boss versus a narcissistic co-worker so the example I just shared that I was talking about a co-worker this person was not managing anyone but yet this person was able to create such havoc in
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the workplace for another person you might be tempted to think if you haven't been through it that it's worse to have a narcissistic boss but it can still be incredibly damaging to have a narcissistic co-worker that stuff still comes home with you and it creates stress and when you have somebody who's making it their mission to make you look bad in front of the boss it can affect your career I don't really want to say that one is better than the other for sure but the reason why I lean towards
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it's worse having a narcissistic boss is because what happens in that situation is that it's not limited to just the boss when you're in an environment that's run by a narcissist you're going to see dysfunction throughout your organization so what happens in cases like these usually is that you have the narcissistic boss and then you have lower-level narcissists throughout the organization and other emotionally unhealthy people
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when there's a narcissistic boss the environment is so toxic and you're gonna see all of the usual players that you see around a narcissist but because the narcissistic boss has so many people to play with in this situation the players are going to change roles you're going to see there's gonna be a golden child and that golden child may stay that way for a long time but nobody can stay on top forever right especially when you
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have so many people in the work environment trying to be the golden child trying to be the person who gets all the praise from the boss so you'll have the golden child but the golden child will fall out of favor and sometimes even become the scapegoat there's always escape and that person changes often because the scapegoat doesn't always last long especially when narcissists in the workplace rally against this person because in the
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workplace once somebody is assigned the role of the scapegoat by someone high up it becomes easy for other people to save themselves by throwing that person under the bus and of course that's where flying monkeys come in these people are probably not very emotionally healthy themselves and they recognize that if it's not somebody else it's gonna beat them so they go ahead and they pile on top of the person who's fallen out of
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favor for that moment it's not them and they can be thankful for that and they can take a breath they can breathe these environments are just so so toxic that no matter who you are even if you're the golden child for the moment you know that things could change like that you just know it because you've been around long enough to see the changes taking place and all of the toxicity unfolding so another player in the toxic workplace when there's a narcissistic boss is the
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codependent person and it doesn't necessarily mean that this person would be codependent in every area of their lives but let's say they feel dependent on this job for whatever reason it's closer to home than any other job that I can get making this much money or there's more opportunities here than I would get over at this other place so I'm just gonna put in my time I'm just gonna put up with it I'm just going to endure this for as long as I
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can so I can get all of these benefits out of this job that I wouldn't get somewhere else maybe somebody is in a place where they're just so so financially strapped that they don't want to risk looking for another job they just want to go in get their paycheck and go home there are a lot of reasons why you can be dependent on a job and put up with this toxic environment ok so what do you do when you're in it how do you handle a toxic workplace where there are narcissists maybe it's your boss
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maybe it's your co-worker but you're they're making your life miserable so the most obvious thing to do is just start looking for another job and I know that this is not always the easiest decision I know it's not but when you're thinking about it when you're considering it try thinking more about your health and well-being then whatever the benefits you are getting from working at this place what if you were to take a lower paying job somewhere else how much would the pay cut be think
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about what that's worth to you for your own emotional physical spiritual health and and for your own sanity to go to a place that doesn't make you wake up in the middle of the night worrying about what's gonna happen next think about it consider all the factors I'm sure you already have but do understand that that stress prolonged stress can have a physical impact on you and that might be what you're trading
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you might end up treating your physical health for this job so so seriously seriously consider it now if you decide you have to stay or you know maybe you're going to leave but there's a transition you know it's not always wise to just up and leave any job the same rules basically apply in the workplace as they do for dealing with narcissus outside of the workplace first there's no contact and no contact is very very difficult when you work with somebody but if you
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can get away with not talking to this person who clearly is a narcissist if you can get away with that do it and I'm not talking about being rude if you see this person in the hallway go ahead and say hi but you don't have to engage once you say hi go ahead and walk the other way again there are very few times when that is actually going to apply in the workplace most of the time we have to interact with these narcissists the next technique is great rock and gray rock works very well in personal situations
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and it can also work in the workplace but you're gonna find that you're gonna be able to employ different levels of it based on who the narcissist is in your workplace and how much interaction you really need to have with them so for example if the narcissist is your boss you're only going to be able to sway conversations so much but what you can do if it's your boss or not is you can use a reverse shift response so instead of shifting the conversation to yourself you're always practicing shifting it away from yourself so let's just say
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your boss asks you a personal question something you know what did you do over the weekend you answer it quickly give a brief answer and then oh ship it back to them what didn't you do over the weekend and as I talk ask some questions and try to shift the conversation back to work they'll feel like they had this personal conversation with you but you will not have shared a whole lot of personal information about yourself and when it comes to work conversations also be careful of oversharing before you say
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anything think about whether what you're about to say is necessary and whether it will benefit you or if it could be used against you so when unfortunately when you're dealing with a narcissist you kind of always have to be one step ahead you have to think about how the information you're sharing is going to be used and if you're questioning it is probably a good idea to keep it to yourself just for the moment the next thing that's super important if you're dealing with a narcissist in the workplace is to protect yourself cya
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applies very much to dealing with narcissists in the workplace so this might mean printing out emails with this person maybe you print out every email or just the important ones just keep a file because especially if this person is your boss anything that's on that public server you don't own so it can be gone tomorrow if you want to cover yourself if you really want to cover yourself go ahead and keep records of everything that happens having records can help you if you have
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to talk to the boss about a narcissistic co-worker or if you have to go to HR you can go to HR and say well he said this and she did she said that but I said this but he said she said we all know it doesn't carry that much weight but if you have evidence of inappropriate behavior or if somebody stealing your ideas that's a different story and it can help even if it's your boss try to document as much as you can but if it is your boss and you're getting to that point where you want to go to HR at
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this point it's really really a good time to reconsider this job you still want to document everything in case things escalate after you leave this job but if you're getting to the point where this narcissistic boss is pushing you to to seek further action it's time to start looking if you liked this video let me know by hitting the like button and if you want to see more like it be sure you're subscribed and hit that notification bell so you don't miss a thing and I will see you next time

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