The narcissist obsessing over loss of good supply

The narcissist obsessing over loss of good supply

SUBTITLE'S INFO:

Language: English

Type: Robot

Number of phrases: 315

Number of words: 1713

Number of symbols: 7747

DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES:

DOWNLOAD AUDIO AND VIDEO:

SUBTITLES:

Subtitles generated by robot
00:02
one of the biggest shortcomings that you often see in narcissists is that they they take people for granted they they're very reliable in other people whether it be family members to give them advice their their partners romantic partners to to give them the attention and compassion that they need to to feel whole or just their their peer group of people who give them the you know certain types of admiration and
00:32
attention that they need to to feel good about themselves so narcissists are constantly looking for a pretty wide group of people to give them what we so often call narcissistic supply so that they they basically distract distracting themselves from the worst thing about themselves and it all serves as a form of temporary relief to their own problems in and just the dark feelings they have and low opinions that they have about themselves but they don't really
01:04
want to let themselves accept and so yeah they do take people for granted and they also tend to underestimate the important role that people play in their lives so they might try to tell themselves that they're not reliant on any one person to feel good about themselves they might try to convince you say if you're a romantic partner that they that they don't need you that much that you're easily discardable and then they can make it on their own without you but you would struggle to make it on your own without
01:37
them basically making you feel replaceable but what so often happens with narcissism they they end up pushing the the people away from them who actually give them the most what they call supply the people who actually care about them the most the people who who are there to help them when they need it most you know if you're if you've been romantically involved with the narcissist chances are you've been the person who's given them the most comfort the most caring the most
02:10
positive attention compassion out of all the people in their lives at least for a long period of time while they often do have other people in their lives that they use in that way sometimes their family family members can be peers friends oftentimes other i guess other um romantic people in their lives mistresses or flings you know narcissists do cheat a lot so they often have that but if you were their main person if you were the main romantic partner the main person that helped them to feel good about
02:41
themselves and just get through the day-to-day then the moment you well whether or not you're still in the picture narcissists like to think that they don't need you and they want you to think that and they want to think they want to convince themselves that they don't need you but the moment that you something happens and you know and you're no longer part of their lives then they really do start to fall apart inside they really they really do start to crumble i mean it could be the case that they never gave you the discard that they just treated you like trash for so long that you ended up going your
03:14
own way um oftentimes nurses don't discard their people they just leave them hanging while the narcissist goes out and lives the life they want but eventually sometimes after many years or decades even people just say you know i've had enough i'm leaving so sometimes people just walk away and sometimes the narcissist does discard the supply but either way um the moment that important person who had that important role to play leaves the narcissist's life
03:44
they they you know at the outset they probably go into a state of denial where they immediately feel the loss of that person because unless they've had a very good supply lined up to replace you unless they've had that perfect alternative to you which sometimes when they're very young and you know they're very charming and stuff sometimes they can sometimes they manage to pull that off so sometimes they do have a good replacement but more often than not
04:15
they don't they don't find a replacement that is as good as to you know they didn't treat them as well that wasn't as potent of a supply to them as you were and so often um you know even if they think they can achieve the the good level of supply from the other people in their lives oftentimes what they'll find is that the absence of you really hits them hard and the absence of you really starts to cause them to crumble and while that denial kicks in at the beginning where they're trying to tell themselves that they don't need you that
04:46
it'll pass that they'll be able to feel the void through other people so often it doesn't play out that way especially as narcissists get older especially as they start to age and you know when the potential pool of supply out there is more experienced in life you know people can see through toxic people more easily if you're if you're 40 50 or 60 you can spot toxic people much more easily than when you then when you're in your 20s or maybe 30s just because you have
05:17
more life experience so as so as narcissists get older it becomes more and more difficult for them to pull a charade and trick people because people can see through them and what all that means is so often narcissists create this trap where they push the person away from them that's giving them the most in their lives and then they realize how much they need that person but they can't get that person back and their mind kind of goes on this trip because they're thinking okay i really do need this person back and
05:51
how do i bring them back into my life you know i spent the last year five years 10 years 20 years or maybe six months whatever period it was you know they spent such a long time pushing you away but now they realize they need you and they need to bring you back in so nars just so often reach that kind of mindset where they they feel they need to bring that form of supply back into their lives at all cost but they don't really you know know how sometimes not possible and that's where narcissists so often
06:22
start obsessing over that person where they feel that they can't feel whole in their own skin they can't feel good about themselves unless they manage to pull that person back into their life and when nars is kind of going to that mindset it really is a sort of obsession a kind of possessive feeling where they feel that they need that person that they deserve to have that person back into their life that the person owes it to them to come back into their life and they just kind of reframe their way of thinking about matters as if you know as if it were a certainty that
06:53
they will eventually reconquer that person or that the person will realize that the narcissist even though they their narcissist would treat that person badly that the narcissist was somehow good to them all this kind of magical thinking starts conjuring up in their mind um but it really is this kind of overarching obsessive feeling because what the narcissists can't stand is that they they can't feel good in themselves unless they bring that person back into their lives they don't they can't find the right type of supply elsewhere
07:24
they only see that through that person and if you are that supply if you're that person that got away and they're obsessively thinking about you then you know you start noticing a lot of coincidences where they feel they need to be checking up on you they feel they need to know how you're doing they want to know what you're thinking flying monkeys start surfacing into your life where people are passing on a message to the nurse about how things are going on in your life i mean it's countless countless ways the narcissist checks up on you
07:56
perhaps to throwing out these um these hoovers to see if you take the bait if you come back to them i mean specifically in the case of if you haven't been in a long-term relationship with a narcissist and you got away in those instances no contact is the best way forward i mean there's a whole host of ways of trying to deal with narcissists that are in your life that you can't avoid and so often you can you cannot avoid narcissists so i i think there lots of
08:26
tactics and tools you can use and boundaries you can erect to keep um a healthy kind of interaction with them but specifically in the case of somebody that you were in a romantic relationship for a long time it's really important that you you do cut all means of them getting in touch with you to the extent possible um because they have nothing good to offer and they'll guilt-trip you they'll pull your heart strings in just the right ways to make you feel you want to go back but ultimately that will just backfire and devastate you if you do go
08:58
back so just to keep point to note that there is if you did manage to escape from a narcissist either be left on your own or maybe they discarded you just um just make sure to cut any means of contact when the eventual hoovers do come through when flying monkeys do appear in your life when strange coincidences emerge when maybe they bump into you or something of that sort just just don't take the bait don't let your guards down and
09:33
just keep yourself collected together and just don't give in to their attempts at trying to bring you back into their life because nothing good can come from that

DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES: