Learn English with Ricky Gervais [German subtitles]

Learn English with Ricky Gervais [German subtitles]

SUBTITLE'S INFO:

Language: English

Type: Robot

Number of phrases: 316

Number of words: 2343

Number of symbols: 9822

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Subtitles generated by robot
00:11
hello and welcome to learn English with Ricky Gervais I'm Ricky Gervais is with me karl Pilkington all right I won't be speaking your language I won't be translating what I say I'll just be speaking English okay the translation will come up on the bottom of the screen this is my friend karl pilkington he is
00:50
bold he is bold he has no hair karl Pilkington has no hair I know they can see I've got nowhere no no Walt didn't need to know that for if they learn a language the old isn't abort a bald head isn't isn't that important teaching how to ask for bread or milk we'll get to that but this is about sort of friendship and family you know so it's all useful there's so many words you know they might as well start
01:24
somewhere through many words a lot of words a lot of words so you say it karl Pilkington is bold karl Pilkington has got a head like a [ __ ] orange I don't really don't know why they need to learn this because they might need to say that one day no but I get enough abuse now from English people
01:55
I don't want Chinese suddenly turning up going bald [ __ ] orange teach him how to say milk I need milk milk for tea coffee teach me useful stuff okay what do whatever go on teach them some of them be my talking to people around the world they can't speak English yet so was that well sorry knees Chinese okay well I've been to China and none of them know English right
02:24
so they need to learn English okay so um what would you want to know you see they don't need to know about milk because they don't like milk they think English people smell of milk the smell of milk smell what does smell mean Carl smell stink barking ow you smell rank rank
02:57
so you've got a Chinese fella he's coming over here and he's learned the word rank meaning you stink smell stank stunk that stunk give an example you smell you [ __ ] because you told me who
03:28
said they want to know that smell yeah right but why are you teaching them without prepositions and proper grout why are you teaching them to speak like this mmm stink you [ __ ] why you teaching them to speak to just speak proper English right okay then always speak proper English okay turn um so what what do they want to know well what's what smell mean they smell we're featuring the word right now smell this is about the word smell right
04:00
when something smells they know what it means is that when something stinks when it doesn't always mean that because it's also a nice smell it's also a verb to smell it's a verb smell is a verb yes but what they've got to remember is if they go up to someone and go you smell it's not always positive you wouldn't you say you smell nice right but if you say you smell go get a smack in the face smack in the face smack in the face Carl
04:32
what's a smack in the face when someone funk you don't the words English lesson ever right okay did you okay what would they want to let you see that's why we've got a focus on are we focusing on Chinese no what is short because different people want different things right so what would Chinese want they come to England right what did he want why you talking to me like I can't understand because I'm trying to think
05:04
how what to be clear to them okay so I'm a drape it out so forget where they come from where they come from in the world they want the same things no but but words don't mean the same thing at certain places this people way extinct in the world they wouldn't come to England and need to say it smells because they're from a smellier place no they're not yes they are milk let's do milk okay let's do milk for anyone who is in English okay okay our
05:34
Harlem okay we will act out a scenario now where you might need milk okay okay hello Karl alright would you like a cup of tea yep yes please yes please strong what teabags have you got that is that that is a that is a question I asked it because it all depends on the amount of milk do you have Typhoo that
06:08
means more milk yeah so who is not being more mean oh it's a very strong tea bag right Twinings little bit this isn't they don't need to know the details this isn't a Travel Guide this is just this is English for people are a bargain okay hello Karl oh yeah would you like a cup of tea LaVon I'm gasping how do you like it strong no sugar teabag okay oh yeah - bye dear
06:49
should be alright would you like some milk just a drop a drop not much would you like semi skimmed milk yeah skim semi skimmed milk well Karl is
07:20
enjoying his tea he had it strong with a drop of milk so that's the basics in England we like to drink tea we drink tea we also drink coffee we also drink beer let's go shopping so I just come into a shop again Jane afternoon hello yeah I want a fish what
07:52
sort of fish you want I got loads what sort of fish are their loads and got time to be honest you've coming out of busy timing that they'd have a look and come back to me I don't know what what type of fish is this that's so your kipper okay a kipper what's a kipper Chinese and Japanese no fish really well I don't need to stop thinking we just talking to Chinese and Joe I don't know where the Japanese kind of sits I was just Chinese people this is for anyone who wants to learn English anywhere around the world there might be Spanish
08:26
there might be French there might be German okay why do you only care about the Chinese learning about this because most Spanish people can speak English that's been taught it but I'll write Kippur it's a fish who sort of a fishy sort of fish there's some fish that's more meaty tuna what sort of thing Lee after today is just for you or for someone else this is for me I'd like to buy a fish please right but you surely you know what
08:57
kipper is look at it look at the fish here it's called Kippur where are you from I don't speak English and just wrap any old [ __ ] up and give it you like this tenor rip you off because I'm busy and that's what happens in this country that's what they want to be careful of do you watching this have you come into England don't be ripped off rip off
09:26
conned take an advantage of done up like a kipper don't look like a kipper look at this foreigner I done him up like a kipper this is when English gets complicated because kipper a lot of English words can mean many things where where same word different thing wearing
10:03
where have you been I'm wearing a jumper where have you been where resumed one word two meanings at the spa hello I'd like to book an appointment for a treatment okay when are you what are you thinking um we're busy all today tomorrow can we
10:38
just do it today can it just be available now can't we just do it that it's available now there's nothing it's like I can fit you in someone hasn't turned up yet so we can get you in sort of in ten minutes okay right okay what would you like and I would like a back crack and sack waxing please I would like my back waxed my crack waxed
11:08
and my sac waxed right do you do the treatments yourself no I'd like you to well I can't why not because I have to be on reception taking calls well okay you can't request who's doing your sac you cranked all your back there's a woman in the back who does your crack well I'm [ __ ] insane right laughing nothing no no what we do don't know is they look at anything wait wait wait
11:39
wait okay okay right okay okay well ask me some questions no I think I've starting occasionally I said we can be going in 10 minutes like I'm not doing I'm aware [ __ ] I'm not paid or qualified to be sorting your weight like okay wait wait okay actually thinking about it the hair on my crack hasn't grown back nor as the hair on my back but my sac is very hairy wait my sac is very hairy and I don't need my back waxed all my crack
12:13
waxed but I need my sac waxed right now I'm surprised you haven't done it yourself because it's the back and the crack that's the difficult bit the SAC you can do yourself also be honest it should all be growing at the same time no there's something wrong with you know you've got a hairy bollocks that fit your back is lovely involved right you don't need it doing bold bold like my back is bold yeah my crack is bored my
12:44
sac needs waxing right and it's quite an emergency my balls are very hairy can I have them wax please yes how much just for the balls 15 pounds 15 pounds about four - okay that's good so 750 each it's 750 of it we don't split that's that's the price yes yes I have one dog no I have a to impound I have two balls I have two balls how many
13:18
balls do you have toe karl has two balls are your balls hairy average okay which is strange because Karl's balls are hairy but he is bald on his head his head looks like a ball his head looks like a bald testicle karl has a head like a bald testicle but his testicles aren't bald okay how long will it take to watch my
13:52
balls Oh ten minutes ten minutes okay okay so it's I'm 15 pounds and ten minutes and can you do it can you can you do it now please I won't be doing it right Leslie in the back room uh oh I don't really I'm a little bit shy I know you good you don't know me you've just turned up could you watch my ball no I'm not
14:21
waxing your balls bollocks scrotum um what else is the test I if you haven't wand on bollocks sack okay okay you've done waxing okay at the doctor's hello Doctor hello I have a pain okay what's
14:53
whereabouts is the pain my anus course it is none of this is worth using learning in a language you go home if you're ill go home no it's just if a foreign planet is in this country and they also doctors news are cetera and a NHS system if you had an a key arts it get on the first flight home why are you going travelling you're here a tourist yes right we'll see London
15:25
instead of worrying about your arey bollocks see the London Eye the London Eye Tower of London these are things that are going to be useful to them okay Tower of London London Eye Buckingham Palace the Queen I've never been on already and I've me I seem to I'm not I didn't seem too awesome here
15:52
Oh give him useful words fromage why are you teaching them a French word if we're teaching them English I'm just saying useful phrases right I've got a headache then what would you do okay what scenario would you do to teach them we will now teach you a useful scenario yeah are you anyone you want me to be what do you want to do the bins haven't been emptied who and okay who are you you're making
16:29
this scenario up this is you and the council it's up to you right you're my neighbor okay why do you keep putting bins out the bin men doesn't come till Thursday you keep putting bins oh sorry I'm late I bother the tub I woke up this morning it's the worst is early I've extended oh hello a pleasant this standard my testicles are they there we go cuz I'm on I'm black dator yeah
17:01
alright listen just pull the bins out on the first and in there put my balls are so low bad enough can you put the bins out on the third the bin men doesn't come till Thursday it's choose the you're putting bins out so early this fox is getting at them this [ __ ] all over the place there's dirty on the pants you keep putting in the bin I've told you in your tracks Foxy's stop putting the [ __ ] bins out through two [ __ ] days early when they got a sit there they attract [ __ ] and trying to sell me flat these dirty shitty undies all over the [ __ ]
17:33
pavement this has happened to you isn't it yeah oh yeah this area else what did you do give a [ __ ] they don't give you face we hope that's been useful for you so when you visit England you can talk just like an Englishman thank you for learning English with Ricky Gervais s and karl Pilkington so yeah see ya

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