How To Communicate With Men

How To Communicate With Men

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hey everybody mat Boggs here creator of cracking the man code one of the questions that has plagued men for centuries is what do women want I heard this funny story the other day about this guy who's walking along the beach stubs his toe and looks down and picks up a lamp he rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and the genie says thank you thank you for for freeing me from this lamp I will grant you any wish you want and so the man says oh my gosh man I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but
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I'm afraid of flying I would love to be able to drive to Hawaii I'm on the west coast I would love a road that would take me all the way from California to Hawaii it would be the most epic road trip of all time if I could just drive that would be amazing and the genie says hmm you know a road why you know that would be an engineering miracle the amount of concrete that's required how deep the Pacific Ocean goes the pillars he said I don't know if I could handle that is there anything else that you would want
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besides a road to Hawaii the man said well I've always been played with what women want I have no idea I would love if you could just tell me what women want that would be awesome and the genie says how many lanes do you want that road and I love that story because one of the burning questions that we have as men is how do we please you how do we deliver what it is that we want for you and as I was contemplating this question and through my experiences and relationships and my coaching clients I've realized that one of the challenges
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is how we're communicating with each other both men and women the definition of communication is the result that we're getting if we're not getting the result we want we need to change how we're communicating one of the ways that if you want a man to step up to the plate and serve you better if you want a man to know what it is that you want and how to really be the man that you can fully be in the relationship there's one key that can help that and that is to be direct with what it is that you're asking for this is counterintuitive because most women think that being direct is
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actually being naggy or being needy ironically it's what men want most because many women haven't been wired up to communicate directly they'll communicate directly I'll give you an example when my wife and I were dating we went to Vegas and on our last day there I'm down in the casino and I'm watching my favorite football team it's the playoffs I'm watching the Pittsburgh Steelers and they're playing and I'm all into this game she comes up to me she goes hey we need to get the valet ticket out of the hotel room so that we can pull the cart round would you like to come with me her
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question was would you like to come with me and get this ticket I'm watching my favorite football team I just got a beer in my hand and I'm thinking to myself no I really don't want to go up there and get this valet ticket with you I would love for you to go get it and then bring it down but that really wasn't her question her question is I would love it if you would come with me would you be willing to come and it's a very important nuance for better communication in relationships men have a tendency we're honest we will tell you
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what we want what we don't want do I want to go up there no but am I willing and would I be willing to step into helping you go because I know that's what you want absolutely if you're wanting something in a relationship don't ask the guy do you want to do this a much better phrase of that is I would love it if you would do this I'll give you one more quick example one of my great buddies just got married it's Friday night his wife staying late at work and then she tells him hey I've got this company party to go to so I'm not sure if it's going to be cool or not but I'll give you a call
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when I'm at the party and then maybe we can hook up and do something well in the meantime he calls me up finds out what I'm doing he comes over we're gonna watch a movie he gets a beer hasn't even opened it yet sits down and he gets a text from his wife that says hey I'm at this company party it's pretty cool do you want to come out and meet me and he's reading this text me going do I want to come out and meet you he's like do I be honest in this moment because I really don't want to drive 25 miles to her work and go meet her for this company party I've just chilled out I'm about to drink a beer I would much
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rather hang out here and have her come over here and then right as we're discussing this he gets another text and it's her sending him the address and she's like okay I guess she really wants me to come out there and meet her and a much more effective way of communicating from her perspective would have been hey I'm at this company party I would love it if you would come out and meet me because what you're doing there is you're telling a man how to deliver you happiness remember one of our key motivators is to deliver happiness to
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you is to be the provider and the man that you want if you just clearly asked us hey this is what I would love would you be willing to do this for me we will rise to the challenge if you ask us hey do you want to do this that's an indirect communication and we're going to answer it directly no I don't really want to but I'd be willing to if you want me to so I hope that serves you take that to heart start using that in your relationship and I guarantee you're going to build stronger deeper connection with your man as always there
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are links below this video for additional resources that will serve you if you're not subscribed make sure you get subscribed to this channel and I look forward to talking to you soon

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