How To Deal With TOXIC PEOPLE In A Spiritual Way! [3 Powerful Steps]

How To Deal With TOXIC PEOPLE In A Spiritual Way! [3 Powerful Steps]

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(00:00): So many of us struggle with toxic people in our lives and have no idea what to do about it. A toxic person can not only ruin your day, but they can also create significant challenges in your life on a regular basis. But how do we deal with toxic people, especially when they're in our family or friends in this video, you're going to learn what a toxic person is from a spiritual and energy perspective. Then we're going to go over if toxic people can change or not. Then the one key lesson that a toxic person is presenting to you that you really need to learn. And then in part four of the video, we're going to go over a three-step process to help you deal with toxic people when they do enter your life coming up. (00:46): Hello, beautiful soul. This is Christina Lopes, the heart Alchemist here to help you open your heart, heal your past and live with purpose. If you're new to my videos, click on that subscribe button and also on the bell. So you get notified as soon as I publish new content. And don't forget to follow me over on Instagram, where I share weekly tips and advice that
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you won't find here on YouTube. And before we jump into the meat of this video, I wanted to let you know that we've added a supplemental workbook. It's a free resource for this video. It has some key takeaways and some homework questions to help you go deeper on the content that we discuss in this video. I'll leave a link to that free workbook in the description box below. So you can download it after watching this video onto part one of the video, what's a toxic person. (01:26): So let's go over the kind of the mainstream definition of what a toxic person is. And then we'll get, we'll go deeper into the spiritual and energy aspect of it. So in general, a toxic person is someone whose behavior negatively impacts your life. That's the easiest way to look at a toxic person, uh, that that person really negatively impacts your life. There's a word that comes through when we're talking about negative people and it's the word, heaviness. That's another word that's very pertinent. And it heaviness means that they just had heaviness to your life. They add heaviness to your day. They add heaviness when you, when you interact with them. So the word heaviness comes through a lot.
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When we talk about toxic people, they really, um, they come in and they just add heaviness to your life. Now, the issue with toxic people is that for so many of us they're present in our families, in our friendship circles, uh, in our jobs are coworkers, some of our coworkers. (02:20): So sometimes it could be a little bit more complex to, to, to kind of deal and interact with negative people when they're in situations that we can't exactly get out of. Alright, so that's kind of the overview of what a toxic person is, but now I want to go a little bit deeper so that we understand toxic people more from an energy perspective. So when it comes to toxic people, there are a couple of energy things that are going on with them that really contributes to them being toxic people in the first place. The first energy issue is that they have generally very negative outlooks. So they, they see life in themselves in a really negative way. Um, they think negatively, they're considered a lot of times, Debbie downers, if you've ever heard of that term, a Debbie downer is someone who's just always seeing the negative
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aspect of life. (03:09): And so what happens is the more negative their outlook is the more their vibration comes down. And that's where then we pick up on the heaviness of that, of that, um, of that toxic person, because their vibration keeps coming down because they have such a negative outlook. The more your vibration comes down, the harder it is for you to be around other people who have higher vibrations, because it just doesn't feel good. The energy interaction doesn't feel good. All right. So, so that's the first energy issue they have going on. The second one that they have going on is that they have, what's known as a vacuum energy field. I call this a vacuum energy field. And let me explain what this, what this means. So normally your energy field. So your energy field is kind of an egg shell shaped, um, uh, quantum non-physical fields that that is around your body. (03:57): Then cases your body, that energy field is constantly communicating with the universe in and out. It dances with the universe. So energy goes in, energy goes out, and it's constantly moving in a harmonious way.
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It's dancing with the universe in and out and in and out. When it comes to toxic people, they have, what's known as a vacuum energy field, which means that they, because they have very negative outlook because their energy comes down a lot. They're not generating energy within themselves. And so what ends up happening is their energy field is constantly sucking energy from the outside. There's an imbalance in energy. There's no harmony, meaning that toxic people, they siphoned energy from the outside, like a vacuum, constantly sucking in energy and they give out very little. So there's an imbalance. There's a lot of sucking in of energy, on their part and not a lot of giving of energy. (04:52): This is why a lot of times toxic people are nearly impossible to be around because they're constantly sucking your energy and they're not giving you anything in return. So there's an energy imbalance. There's not harmony in that. And it's because they have this energy field. That's constantly sucking in energy. It's constantly siphoning energy because there's an imbalance in this energy field, a lot having
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to do with them, having such a negative outlook on life, that it brings their vibration out. So they start to feel without energy and they start to kind of bring it in a siphoning it from the outside environment. There's no balance there. And these two key energy issues are the reason why toxic people are nearly impossible to be around, especially when you don't, when you haven't trained yourself, they're nearly impossible to be around because you feel drained. You feel tired when you're around them, you feel horrible. (05:43): And it's because they're just sucking your energy and they're not giving anything in return. Okay? So here's a better understanding on an energy level what's going on with a toxic person and what makes them toxic in the first place. So now that you know, these, these two energy quirks that kind of make a toxic person, a toxic person, and you understand more of what's going on, energetically, let's go over some key traits of a toxic person, just in case. You're wondering if you have any present in your life, most of us can catch them quickly, but sometimes, you know, we may not catch that. That person is in fact toxic because maybe we've just been dealing with them our whole
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lives. If they're family members or friends, we don't really catch that there's toxicity in that energy. So I want to go over some key features, a five. (06:26): I'm going to give you five traits of a toxic person, so you can get better at catching them. If, if you're, if you're unsure whether a person in your life is toxic or not. So the first trait is that they're manipulators. They're very good at manipulating. And it's precisely because their energy system is constantly siphoning energy in. So they need people to behave in a certain way, in order for them to get energy. So they're master manipulators. They're very good at getting you to do what they want, what they want you to do. All right. So manipulation is a skill that toxic people learn. Uh, usually unconsciously. So toxic people aren't necessarily bad people. They're, they're not, you know, they have the same beautiful souls that we have. They're all, we are all beautiful, unique eternal beings, but they become a person becomes toxic when they get stuck in the human aspect and in the human baggage.
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(07:20): And then they get stuck in their mind and their egos, and they lose the perspective of the soul. That's really, when you get toxic, you're not toxic when you're connected to your soul truth. All right? So, so this, this being a manipulator, very common with a toxic person, they are master manipulators. And if you're, if you've ever been around a toxic person, you probably know this. The second trait of a toxic person is that they don't respect boundaries. So a toxic person will literally treat you however they want, especially if you let them. So they do not respect boundaries. They don't understand boundaries. They will violate boundaries constantly. And it's because they have this vacuuming, uh, energy field that's constantly taking energy in. They don't care if you have boundaries or not, they're going to keep violating those. All right. So, so they don't respect per se the personal boundaries of other people. (08:07): That's another key trait of a toxic person. The third trait of a toxic person is that they are very, self-centered so constantly talking about themselves constantly, you know, wanting to, to, to throw their problems onto
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you constantly. It's just about me, me, me, me, me. They're very, very self-centered. And now you can kind of understand why they're self-centered from an energy perspective. It's because that energy system is so imbalanced that it's becoming a vacuum. All it does is suck energy in, right? So they're very, very centered. Self centered are only what their problems are. They don't want to know about anybody else's because that energy system is not harmonized. So they don't give, they just take very self-centered. They only care about their problems. They only care about their issues. Then they in, if you have an issue, uh, you know, if this is a, for example, if you have a friend that's a toxic person and you need to talk through something, they'll very quickly, it they'll say, oh yeah, well, I'll, I'll help you. (09:04): And then they'll listen to you for like one minute, and then they'll switch the conversation and start talking to you about themselves. I don't know if this is ever happened to you, but it's definitely happened to me. And so it's this, it's this energy being very, very self-centered trait. Number four of a toxic person is that they seek attention. So there is a little bit of a continuation of the previous trait.
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They're constantly seeking attention. Because again, that energy system is constantly vacuuming in energy, constantly seeking attention. A lot of times toxic people can be referred to as drama Queens. So they're just constantly making drama. They're constantly making waves in order to get attention from other people. Because without that attention, they don't have the energy that they need to siphon in order to keep their energy system somewhat afloat. Okay. So, so they're constantly, constantly seeking energy. (09:50): A little bit of what's known as the drama Queens, the fifth trait of a toxic person, the fifth and last trade is that they overpower others. So again, because of that energy cork of having that vacuuming energy system, that's constantly sucking in energy, but it doesn't give any energy out. That's why they very frequently will overpower others. So for example, let's say you have a toxic toxic friend and you, you know, they call you, they want to go out to coffee, they have a problem, whatever it is, you go out to coffee with them and you sit with them. And just in the 20 minutes that you're there listening to another one of their dramas,
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uh, they are vacuuming. They're siphoning so much energy that by the time you leave that 20 minute coffee conversation, you're completely completely drained of energy. And that's because they've overpowered your energy system and they just siphoned your energy in the 20 minutes that you were, that you were there talking to each other. (10:44): Okay. So very, very common that a toxic person will easily overpower someone else energetically onto part two of the video can toxic people change. So this one's interesting because a lot of people ask a lot of people, you know, when we're talking about toxic people, there's a lot of negativity also around it. So generally, um, you know, in a lot of blogs and videos and, and self-help kind of circles, usually what's said is that a toxic person is just going to remain the same forever and you just need to cut them out of your life. And that's, that's how you deal with them. I don't view things in that way. And I think that as, as you're developing yourself more, you become a little bit more open-hearted and have compassion and empathy for everybody.
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And so can a toxic person change. Of course they can change just like you and me can change. (11:31): Everybody can change. And so toxic person is no different the issue with any kind of change, whether it's in a toxic person or in anyone, is that in order for you to change, there has to be a level of self-awareness present. So for a toxic person to change, they have to become self-aware that they're toxic in the first place. And that they do certain things that are very draining of others, that aren't very respectful of other. So they have to become aware of this. And plus, you know, bonus bonus points, if they become spiritual and they also start to understand the energy aspects of what makes them a toxic person in the first place, because when they correct that, then everything changes. All right? So, so the ease though, the first answer to that question is that yes, toxic people can change just like everybody else can, but that's not up to you. (12:20): That's the second part of the, of the answer here is that changing them is not up to you. It's up to them. The self-awareness has to come from within them.
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It cannot come from you wanting to change them or trying to force them to change. Right now, there's something interesting. That'll happen. Especially if we're talking about a toxic person that's present in your family and your circle of friends, a toxic person, that's kind of present in your life that, that you have a soul connection to, or that you have a more intimate connection with what ends up happening is that if you have a toxic person, that's closer to you, the moment that you change, because that's all that we can do, we can just change ourselves. The moment that you change within you, the moment that you change your energy, they may change also. (13:05): Okay. Now notice I said they may change. And the reason is because we evolve kind of in pods or groups. If I change my energy, all of the people that I'm energetically connected to, I pull them up as I move my energy up. So that's a really cool and beautiful way. We are all helping each other evolve really on a soul level. So if I have toxic people around in my life and I change my energy, then I'm going to
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energetically be pulling the strings, the energy strings that I have with the people around me, I'm going to be pulling them up also. So when I change my energy, a toxic person may change also, but they may not. This is, this is all, you know, is going to be different for everyone. They may change or there, they may not. It's not up to you. (13:49): But the reason that I'm asking you to focus on changing yourself is because there's an interesting aspect about toxic people. And that is the big lesson that they, that they bring you all right, a toxic person in one way or another. The soul of that person is trying to show you, they're trying to train you into your power. That is the key key lesson that a toxic person comes to, to, to really teach you in your life. When they're present is that a toxic person is teaching you. They are training you into your power. The more in your power you come, the less that person will become will be toxic to you. So that's kind of the cool aspect of, of learning, how to work with toxic people, learning how
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to really come into my power, how to understand the lesson that that person is presenting in my life. (14:38): The more that I come into my power, the less toxic people will affect me onto part three of the video, how to deal with toxic people. So, as I said before, the majority of advice in self-help circles around toxic people has just a lot to do with just cutting them out of your life and just, you know, cause toxic people, there are no good. Just cut them out of your life and move on. That's generally the advice that's given around, you know, how to deal with toxic people. But I see things a bit differently. Um, one that the, the spiritual aspect that if you start to train yourself into your power, then the suppose a toxic person may not be toxic to you at all anymore. Depends on where you are energetically. Okay. So that's one aspect. But another aspect to this is you may not feasibly be able to cut this person out of your life completely. (15:30): It depends on what relationship you have with this person.
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So for example, let's say that you are co-parenting, let's say you split up with a toxic ex, but you have a child with that person and you have to co-parent with them. You can't just cut this person out of your life and move on. That would be easy, but, but, you know, life is a little bit more complicated sometimes. So there are times when we can't cut certain toxic people out of our lives for one way or for one reason or another. So it isn't always black and white, the answer isn't always cut them out of your life and move on. It's not black and white. There's a lot of gray in this and there's a lot of layers in this. And so you have to make that decision. Sometimes it is the best. Sometimes the best thing to do is to cut a toxic person out of your life. (16:12): And that's it. But sometimes it's not the best decision or sometimes it's not even possible. Just like this example that I gave of someone who's co-parenting with a toxic ex partner and, and you know, that person, they need to interact with them on some level because they're co-parenting all right. So, uh, so this is kind of a, um, a nuanced look at all of this. I'm going to give you a three-step process on how to deal with toxic people, whether
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you want to keep them in your life or not want to keep them in your life. This three-step process is going to help you really learn how to deal with toxic people, to, uh, to a place where they no longer affect you, whether they stay in your life or not. Right now, remember to follow this three-step process in order, sometimes they give you tips that you can, you can do them out of order, but in this case, this three-step process has to be followed in order because the energy needs to build one step builds on top of each other. (17:02): Okay. So, so let's get into these three steps. Okay. So here's the first step. The first step is empowerment. All right. So I talked about this a little bit already, so you probably knew that this was the first step to come in, whatever you do with the toxic person, whether you cut them out of your life or not the first step. And this is crucial is that you must be in your power. You must come into your power. Because as I said a little while ago, the top lesson that a toxic person comes to show you is the lesson of empowerment. They are literally training you into your power.
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That's what a toxic person is doing on a spiritual level. And they're doing this because they have a really interesting quirk in them. So people who have a toxic people, they have really strong energy systems. (17:51): Okay? Now this may not seem like this is true, but think about it. If a toxic person had a weak energy system, they wouldn't be toxic because they wouldn't affect anyone, right? Like they would not be able to affect or in negatively impact other people. If their energy system was weak, but their energy system is strong. And that's why they negatively impact people so much is because they have this strong energy system. Well, if a toxic person with a strong energy system shows up in front of me, what are they doing spiritually? They are training me into my power. If I match their strength energetically, or if I surpass their strength, energetically, will they be able to negatively impact my life? No, they won't. They won't, they will not be able to negatively impact my life. Now I could still not want to have them in my life.
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(18:40): That's true. But the point is, regardless of what decision you make, whether you keep them in your life or not, this first step must be trained. And that is, I have to be in my power. The more in my power, I am the less, this negative person or this toxic person is going to affect my life, whether they stay or whether they go, okay. So, so empowerment coming into your power, taking the invitation of the universe to come into your power. When you're in the presence of a toxic person, this is so crucial. And this is so important because here's, here's a little pro tip here. Uh, just, just to give you an understanding of what would happen if you didn't focus on this step one. So let's say that you were just like, ah, forget empowerment. I don't care. I'm just going to cut them out of my life. (19:23): I'm never talking to them again. Just cut them out of my life and I'll be done with, with toxicity. Okay? If you don't focus on empowerment, if you don't focus on coming into your power, sure. You can cut one toxic person out of your life, but guess what's going to happen because you live in a residence based universe what's going to happen is sooner or later, another
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toxic person is going to come into your life. Why? Because your energy system is weak. You haven't trained it into power. And so what's gonna end up happening is you're going to call to you lessons coming in the form of toxic people that are going to come to try and challenge you to come into your power. You see, that's why this first step is crucial, regardless of whether you do with that person. Remember you must come into your power. (20:10): That is a crucial first step. Without this first step, you can't deal with toxic people period. Now, if coming into your power is an issue and you have no idea how to get to a place of self-empowerment. I shot a whole video on self-confidence and power. I'll leave links in the description box below. So you can watch that video. It'll really help you come into your power and that'll cover step number, step. Number one of this process, I'll leave links to that video in the description box below. So you can watch after this one. Now, once you start working on this self-empowerment piece and you start to come into your power and, and when it comes to, you know, w when we're talking about coming into your power, and I'm pointing here to my stomach, because this is really a work that has a lot to do
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with the solar plexus is one of your energy chakras. (20:52): It's, it's, uh, the third chakra in your, in, in the seven main chakras system. So that's this top of the stomach here. That's a lot, has a lot to do with power and sovereignty. The more you come into your power, a funny thing is going to happen. And the funny thing is that you'll have less issues with toxic people just like that, just because as soon as you focus on coming into your power, the impact that negative people have over you is going to disintegrate because the issue is about night, about 80 or 90% of the issues you have with a toxic person is because they are pulling on your energy. And they're overpowering you. If a toxic person cannot overpower you, your issues with them, sort of start to dissolve. They no longer have power over you. And that just dissolves the majority of the issues you have with them, whether they stay in your life or not. (21:44): Okay? So, so this is amazing, and this is the key, the key first step, the foundation, without
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which you can't really do anything else about toxic people without having this self-empowerment and power and sovereignty piece in place. Step number two of the process is to create strong boundaries. All right. So now that you're starting to come into your power, you've worked on step number one, step number two is you need to create strong boundaries boundaries. Another way of saying boundaries is boundaries are rules of engagement that you have with people it's rules that you have on how you accept or not accept being treated. All right? So that's what boundaries are. And when it comes to toxic people, you need to have strong boundaries. You need to have healthy and strong boundaries with everybody, not just with toxic people, but especially with toxic people, especially when you're first learning, how to deal with them. (22:32): Now, when, when it comes to setting boundaries, I want to leave a really important side note because I never want to leave any type of confusion when it has to do with this type of work. And that is, I'm only talking about having healthy, strong boundaries with toxic people, but not to the point where there is any kind of abusive situation occurring.
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So I want to leave this important side note. If you are in a situation that is abusive physically, emotionally, if you are in danger in any way, if your safety is at risk at any point, then this, this three-step process is not really pertinent at the time, because really what you want to do is you want to get out of that situation quickly. All right. So as soon as you start coming into your power, walk out the door, that's literally the, that's literally the procedure. (23:21): If you're in any type of dangerous situation, abusive situation, anything like that, because there's no, you won't be able to create healthy boundaries if you're in that kind of more dangerous situation, but that's way beyond a toxic person that we're talking about here. We're not talking about that level of toxicity. Okay. So I want to leave this important side note that the tips that I'm giving here are not, if you are in a specific, dangerous situation or an abusive situation in those kinds of situations, you just need to walk out. You need to leave. Uh, okay. So, so I wanted to leave this side note before we continue talking about the boundaries.
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So if you do feel like you're in a more, um, kind of a more severe form of dealing with a toxic person, um, I did shoot a video on, what's known as narcissism. (24:06): I shot a video on that, and that'll kind of help you work through the situation if you're in a situation or a connection with someone that is a little bit above the energy of the toxic person that I'm talking about here. So I'll leave links to that, to that narcissism video in the description box below. So you can watch after watching this video. Now, if you, if you're not in a dangerous situation and you're just dealing with a regular toxic person that that's not really putting your life at risk or anything like that, let's go back to the, to the normal toxic person that we were talking about here. When it comes to creating boundaries, what this means, this could mean a variety of different, a diff different things, but basically you are creating the rules of engagement and how you accept to be treated and how you don't accept to be treated. (24:48): So here's some examples you can, for example, have a difficult conversation with that toxic person where you sit down with them and you say, you know, I will no longer accept this kind of interaction between you and I.
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So something has to change. Otherwise. I won't be able to keep you in my life. So you may have to have a, um, difficult conversations for sure. A lot of difficult conversations may need to be had. Um, you're also gonna, you may also communicate to that person, what your expectations are when it comes to, to having a relationship with them or, or being in connection with them. So you're going to, to tell them how you expect to be treated. And you're going to, you're going to set out those rules one at a time, if you have to. Okay. So this is just some example, uh, examples of how you set healthy boundaries, right? (25:32): At the end of the day, setting healthy boundaries is really a continuation of step number one, because when I come into my power, I also become very self-loving. So this is, this is really about setting boundaries is about self-love. It's about self-love. And self-respect it's about you knowing that you deserve to be treated like gold, and you expect that of other people, if they are to stay in your life right now, if you need more help on how to create boundaries, what they are and how to create them, if you really
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suck at setting boundaries and you need more help with that, I shot a whole video on how to set boundaries and I'll leave a link in the description box below. So you can watch after this video onto step three of the process, and that is to walk away if necessary. Okay? So, but notice this is the last step in the process. (26:19): You have to go through step one and two, so that energy matures, you set healthy boundaries, and then you make a decision on whether to walk away or not. So this is really a continuation of step number two, it's really a continuation of setting a boundary. Sometimes setting a strong boundary is cutting that person out of my life. And that's that that's setting a boundary also. So it's a different level of setting boundaries. So in step three, don't be afraid of walking away from someone if necessary, if, if that's in your highest good. Okay. Now a lot of times people can have a lot of issues with this step three, especially if they're dealing with toxic people that are in their family, or maybe a partner. So a lot of times people will say, I really wish I could cut that person out of my life, but it's a parent, you know, they're my parents. (27:01): I don't want to cut them out of my life.
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I have a sense of duty to them. I have a sense of obligation. So all of these kinds of societal norms start to play in and they really affect our decisions. And what I tell people is that, you know, regardless of what position that person has in your life, whether they are family or not, your there's a mantra that I love to repeat. And that, and that's this, that your highest sense of duty is always to yourself. This is a mantra that I really hold very, very, very near to my heart. You're your biggest sense of duty is to yourself because the moment that you just completely, um, put yourself in a position of lack of self-love or lack of self-respect you're, you're starting to really crumble, energetically, and you are not honoring yourself. You're not honoring or loving yourself. (27:52): So regardless of what position that person occupies in your life, if you intuitively feel that you're better off without them in your life, then please don't be afraid of making those, of taking those steps of walking
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away. Sometimes walking away is the healthiest thing that you could possibly do. Whether you're dealing with a toxic person, that's a parent, a friend, a partner, sometimes the healthiest and most loving thing that you can do both for yourself and for that person is to walk away and to cut the connection, right? But again, I put this here as step number three, because you're first going to focus on the empowerment piece, on setting, healthy boundaries, on being in your power. And then you make the decision on whether you want to keep this person in your life or not. But here's a pro tip that I want to leave you with before we finish this video. (28:38): And the pro tip is that regardless of what decision you make about the toxic people in your life, whether you decide to walk away, cut the relationship or not remember never to walk away from a position of powerlessness. Okay? So if you do walk away, walk away from a position of power. This is so, so crucial. And we already talked about why, if you cut a toxic person out of your life from a position of powerlessness, so if you're just running away from them sooner or later, we live in
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a residence based universe, which means that you can cut one toxic person out of your life. But if you stay in a position of powerlessness and weak energy, you're going to call forth another toxic person, whether it's next week, next month or six months from now, because the universe will constantly be challenging you to come into your power, to come into your energy sovereignty on they'll in the universal, keep doing that through toxic people. (29:30): Okay? So consider this an invitation that if you do have toxic people in your life, remember that they're training you into your power. Once you come into your power, then make decision from a position of power, make your decision on whether you want to keep that person in your life or not. Now, I want to hear from you, let me know. Do you struggle with toxic people in your life? I want to hear all about it in the comments below, and also don't forget to download the free workbook. The link to that free workbook is in the description box below, click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel or head over to my website where you can download my popular, free guided meditations. And don't forget these videos that I recommended in this one.
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That'd be great for you to continue watching. All right, beautiful soul. (30:11): I love you. I'm out.

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