Cptsd Why Can't I Feel My Feelings |Feeling Numb Dissociated Detached

Cptsd Why Can't I Feel My Feelings |Feeling Numb Dissociated Detached

SUBTITLE'S INFO:

Language: English

Type: Robot

Number of phrases: 343

Number of words: 1927

Number of symbols: 8636

DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES:

DOWNLOAD AUDIO AND VIDEO:

SUBTITLES:

Subtitles generated by robot
00:00
hello friends i wanted to answer the question why can't i feel my feelings okay i had a lot of people ask me this question recently and it's such an important question because the reality is is that so many that had childhood trauma that were maybe raised by narcissistic parents and or had a long-term adult relationship with somebody high on the scale of narcissism at some point has felt disconnected from their feelings and the sad reality is is that
00:31
when it comes to feelings you probably know what everyone else is feeling right you probably have an amazing emotional radar as to what a person is feeling and what they need to feel better but when somebody asks you what you're feeling it's almost like you know your mind goes blank and there's a lack of ability to do that introspection and really feel connected to whatever is going on inside in fact
01:02
a lot of people that grew up with childhood trauma or narcissistic parents felt for a long period of their life numb maybe as if they were watching their life as if it was a movie like they could see it but they were somehow not connected to it and they didn't really have that ability to feel like they were in their body able to feel their own emotions so with this video i want to explain it i want to talk about why you can be so disconnected from from
01:33
your emotions i want to help you to normalize it so that you don't feel crazy because that's what can happen i know because i've been there okay and when we don't have the understanding as to why this is going on it's kind of like when you're physically ill and you go to the doctor and you know something's wrong but doctor after doctor no one finds anything wrong with you not knowing or not having like all the pieces to what's going on
02:02
only adds to the anguish that you're feeling when you realize how much you've changed when you look at yourself and it's almost like you see your emotions as separate from you and you can't seem to integrate if you don't know why and you don't understand what's going on one you can't fix it right because we can't heal or work through what we don't understand and two it can further cause you to blame yourself and i don't want that to happen so with that in mind let's talk about why we can often get disconnected from our
02:33
feelings a lot of complex ptsd has to do with the brain okay so we have to understand these things in order to make sense of it so let's talk about the brain when children are in their toddler years okay what happens to to the child so the child is learning the first seven years of life everything is like a program they're learning what's safe what's good what's bad what's acceptable um what causes pain what causes pleasure they're learning all of that so
03:04
when it comes to feelings let's imagine a child named devin okay devin has loving parents and so he's playing he's a toddler he's doing what toddlers do he's probably climbing on things he he's running he falls down and he scrapes his knee so what happens well he starts to cry he goes to his parents and what do his parents do if they're loving healthy people well they hug him they ask him what's wrong right
03:35
so they listen to him they look at the the scrape on his knee they bandage the scrape they hug him they console him they make him feel better and then within a short period of time devon's up and running and playing again and in that small interaction devin learned that when he's hurt or feeling an emotion right that causes them to cry that causes him to feel anything he can bring it to his parents who show that they see him
04:07
they care about him he learned in that interaction emotions are safe in fact he also learned that sharing his emotions is a positive thing so his brain is always looking at what brings pain and what brings pleasure and his brain learned at that moment that sharing his feelings brings pleasure because mom and dad validate it they make him feel seen heard and cared about and it's resolved and it feels good
04:38
so devin will grow up feeling like emotions are safe and he can share his feelings and he has no problem with that not many of us are like devin especially if you're watching my videos you know that we didn't have that we had the parent that if we scraped our knee and we started to cry and we went to our parent the narcissistic parent now has to give attention to you and if there's no audience in which to impress right now if this was publicly done then the narcissistic parent would dote
05:09
on that child and be like oh look see look at how i care about my child but when it's done in private the narcissist doesn't have time because he doesn't get anything or she doesn't get anything out of it without an audience so the parent will say something like you know just go figure it out or be tough or why are you crying or i'm busy can you just you know go away you're disturbing me you're making a big deal out of nothing and they minimize dismiss criticize and sometimes even
05:41
worse the parent might spank that child's bottom for being interrupted so now that that kid learns my feelings don't matter feelings aren't safe feelings hurt when i share them they hurt and the brain is watching right so the brain starts noticing oh every time devin shares his feelings he's always so sad afterward he's always feeling like the parent doesn't care there's so much emotional pain there
06:14
that's not good that's not good to do so the brain is watching that brings pain to devin and what it starts to do is your subconscious mind begins to formulate programs that keep you from feeling your feelings i guess you can say that your subconscious mind starts making these programs without your conscious consent okay under the radar of your conscious awareness and without your conscious consent and through repetition plus emotion
06:45
which is how the subconscious learns those behaviors the devon with the healthy parents and the devin with the the unhealthy parents the repetitive way that the parent shows up to the child when they're emoting is going to make that child feel safe with feelings or feel like feelings are equivalent to death because think about it okay for a toddler to be abandoned and rejected their emotions to be abandoned and rejected that toddler's like oh my god like i don't matter but this parent needs to take care of me
07:17
so what do i need to do so that i matter and i'm able to survive this because i can't take care of myself so the child starts thinking well i can't have feelings but what can i do oh i can do this for mom or dad i can do that i can be a human doing and they they then divorce those feelings and after a long period of time of being separated from your feelings your body
07:47
doesn't remember how to give them to you that's one thing that happens each emotion has a chemical signature and if your body hasn't created that chemical signature in a long time it's like a road or a pathway that hasn't been traveled and now it's overgrown while the neurons in your brain they don't even see it anymore to give you that emotion and they they give you other things like numb disconnection dissociation the path to those is very well worn because your brain rewired to keep you
08:18
safe on top of rewiring to keep you safe it has rewired with trauma-induced people-pleasing in other words you feel this urge to to do and please others as if your life depended on it as if your value and worth depended on it because that was the program that was brought about when you were a toddler and then then through repetition plus emotion it was ingrained in you and some of you might be like okay but i'm an adult now
08:49
like you know that was when i was a kid i get it but i'm not with my narcissistic parents anymore why can't i just start feeling and that's when you have to really understand complex ptsd the behaviors that became coping skills as a result of the emotional trauma they changed your brain right they changed how your you think they changed the parts of your brain that you spend the most time in and on top of that your subconscious remembers everything
09:21
and when you're trying to break out of those behaviors now and you're trying to feel guess what happens your subconscious reminds you of the pain that was felt in childhood when you tried to have a feeling and express it and it sends such an overwhelming sense of of emotion of negative emotion through your body that it makes it so hard to allow yourself notice the word allow it's almost like we lost the ability to
09:52
allow ourselves to feel and that's what an emotional flashback is right so in childhood feeling was horrible and it caused so much pain so in adulthood you might want to have a feeling you might want to connect to a feeling and your brain sends you just a jolt of what it felt like in the past and that pain and that abandonment that heavy shame that came up in childhood when when you were emotionally abandoned
10:23
comes up in your body and you shut down again you disconnect and you dissociate so it's challenging it's challenging to work through the side effects and logic alone just because we learned this doesn't mean that okay now i know therefore all is resolved no learning is the first step we need to understand and learn about these things but then we have to take the time to rewire the brain to rewire the neural pathways to the emotions that we want to have
10:53
we have to find that path back to self and that takes time the good news is is that if you experience a disconnection from self you're not crazy you're not a bad person your brain actually was doing what it thought was best to protect you and keep you safe and at the time it was a help but now it's maladaptive and now it's time to reconnect with self and if you're on this journey and you feel like you've
11:25
been on it for a long time and you're not seeing the results as fast as you want to see them make sure you check out the thriver school of transformation because we talk about all of this and we learn ways how to put it into practice in our daily lives we meet live weekly with people all over the globe and you're more than welcome to join us if you feel that you need a little bit more than the videos can provide

DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES: