Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead Review | Don't Drink Toilet Water

Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead Review | Don't Drink Toilet Water

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Language: English

Type: Robot

Number of phrases: 298

Number of words: 1949

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hey hey people Seth here today I'll be reviewing a game that's not often talked about Cataclysm dark days ahead have you ever been so first II you drink water straight from a toilet only to catch ask parasites and die have you ever been so upset from getting caught in a rain that nothing could make you feel better except a soothing shot of heroin have you ever decided to surgically implant yourself with bionics that allow instantaneous physical teleportation only to teleport inside a concrete wall and be crushed to death all of these are
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distinct possibilities in Cataclysm dark days ahead Cataclysm dark days ahead is a turn-based sandbox roguelike set in modern times following a sudden apocalypse as a grueling survival game with permadeath cataclysm pulls no punches in creating a tense and sometimes bleak setting yet despite all that it's incredibly incredibly [ __ ] fun story the best part about the story is that no one knows exactly what happened but I'll give a simple gist of it while future governments are busy bickering
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and frightening each other the Cataclysm hits we get invaded by different extra dimensional organisms vying for control of earth some of these are multiple species and fraud under a superior controller intelligence some are part of a sentient fungal hive mind that spreads its spores throughout the planet and some are part of the most widespread and prolific group known only as the blob the game takes place several days after the Cataclysm by which point most human life has been extinguished in major cities the sentient blob organism infest
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any living creature and rapidly divides inside them until life functions fail at which point it will revive them as a host for the blob using four bodies biomass for fuel and muscles for locomotion any hosts of the blob are extremely aggressive as their primary reproductive strategy relies on spreading the organism through open wounds the infection is treatable which is why blob hosts prefer to utilize Moloch deep bites cuts and claws to inoculate as much of the organism as possible preferably killing the victim
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in a process whose whole body will be hijacked within several hours and rise again as a fresh host there is only one goal in Cataclysm survive in rare case you managed to live long enough to see winter only then you can start developing ambitions go from just surviving to controlling and dominating your environment find other survivors and have them join you as companions follow radio signals and trails that lead to some of the last bastions of humanity and help re-establish civilization Cataclysm is designed as a
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survival sandbox and doesn't force you to do more than the bare necessities the rest is up to you gameplay cataclysms a roguelike a complicated one at that you'll need to utilize your entire keyboard to make use of all the functions given to you there's no point explaining the controls and just play it and play it until memorizing them is second nature to you download my copy and play random characters until you figure it all out and don't forget to tell us how you died most of your characters won't live long but if it's
03:05
any consolation my first character was a literal neckbeard I walked barely 5 meters out of the evac shelter and got attacked by a wild moose and which I somehow managed to kill by fracking its skull with my Nintendo brick it broke both of my legs so I couldn't walk so I played gameboy instead to avoid depression and distract from the pain I was getting ravenously hungry so I dragged my crippled body to a sharp rock and used it to rip out raw chunks of moose flesh and intestines playing game boy in between bouts of regurgitating
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the disgusting flesh and entrails while dying at first then a pack of coyotes ate me alive it was at this point I realized this is the game for me but stick with it and you'll find yourself dying less from stupid circumstances and more from your own stupid decisions as briefly mentioned before you play different characters in Cataclysm while you can generate different worlds these can accommodate multiple characters starting in different unique scenarios randomly spread throughout a world the
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class and background of a character you pick will either improve or hinder your odds of survival while their traits and quirks make for some hilarious situations you could be flat-footed and stealthy or brawny and resistant to disease or you could be a psychopath that feels no remorse when mowing down undead children with your Volkswagen or you could be a schizophrenic suffering auditory and visual hallucinations you can even start the game as a genetic dead-end having an allergy to almost every type of grain fruit dairy or
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processed food I hope you enjoy bulimia because that's a condition in this game so is NR Exia in many ways Cataclysm is the quintessential teen girl simulator many of the classes in the game range from sensible to complete meme material you could pick anything from a police officer to a crackhead hooker BDSM [ __ ] or even a religious preacher on that note very few games out there actually let you play as an imam Imams naturally start with increased diplomacy
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I recently did an imam playthrough of Cataclysm being a people person I was more a talker than a doer within days I had shown several survivors the true path to Jannah equipping them with Kalashnikovs and gunning down every heathen on our war path to glory this worked well until we ran out of ammunition unfazed my men continued to bash the enemy as admirable as their courage was we were assaulted by a zombie Hulk and who left my men in pieces and me splattered on the sidewalk where you
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start on the map and what challenges you'll face are largely determined by the scenario you could start as a standard survivor in an evac shelter some miles away from the nearest city or a prisoner trying to break out of living hell as your inmates turn on you or a group of miners cracking through the earth to relive the events of John Carpenter's thing the game is so jam-packed full of content but you'll never be bored Cataclysm makes you realize but in a post-apocalyptic situation where the power grid infrastructure and social services have
06:14
collapsed the most valuable thing on the planet becomes books brainless who can't read will be consumed by their lack of adaptation while intellectual 105 IQ geniuses like myself will bloom books found across the world especially in libraries and schools can teach you technical skills that a lay person wouldn't possess from being able to make simple tools in the wilderness to working and repairing cars to come metallurgy and even making your own biodiesel this goes all the way up to attempting bootleg surgery on yourself
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to install Bionic implants to transcend your own humanity with only a small drawback botched surgeries will leave you spilling out your own organs and permanently disfiguring you on your deathbed cataclysms crafting system is amazing most recipes in the game follow a set hierarchy of ingredients building up from raw materials and simple devices and breaking back down to those components when disassembled in their complex form let me give an example if I know some simple electronics I can assemble a flashlight with an amplifier
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circuit scrap metal a light strip and some copper wire once I've made this flashlight and I can pull it apart and break it back down to those base components you can spend hours poring over the absolute volumes of different crafting recipes available to you and many recipes in the game are flexible don't have the optimal parts for something and that's fine you can often substitute them for something else let's say I need medical supplies to disinfect wounds but I lack rubbing alcohol then any sufficiently strong spirits like
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vodka brandy or rum could be used instead and no alcohol at all then you can still sterilize the gauze with concentrated honey the system is [ __ ] amazing and there's no game that comes close to the amount of code reserved for crafting at the beginning of a game it's unlikely you'll find a working car most left behind would be trashed or broken by now but whoever fruit sheerluck or some mechanical know-how you can come in dear your own personal vehicle Cataclysm is the best turn-based driving game I've ever played in my life it's absolutely
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insane how intense driving can be when you're desperately plundering buildings for resources while avoiding hordes of zombies that want to pull your skin off but Ceph a car is huge why not just move a zombies down I'm sure you can afford to run down one or two or several but to damage two individual car parts accumulates and sooner or later your engine will start coking your wheels will start coming loose in your windshield will be smashed to a pulp leaving you either dead in the middle of an ocean of undead closing in on you or splattered on the pavement when your
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seat belt fails and sends you flying at a on crete wall that is until you experience the world of high-end car crafting if you somehow got hold of welding equipment you can pump up your hippie van to be a mobile def machine replace the crappy eco-friendly plating with kevlar you scrapped off an APC remove a gay inline engine and replace it with a v12 sports engine add serrated spikes to the hood of your car and turn your current play fruit into a high-velocity Mad Max rampage survival
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and Cataclysm is difficult especially at the beginning but for careful use of your own abilities and the resources at your disposal you can make the game bend to your will or you'll get tired of careful living and start drinking public sewage water to malformed into a hideous monstrosity you won't miss those legs anyway especially now that you've got eight of them and can dangle from roofs constricting survivors and enemies as a gigantic mutated octopus or maybe you'll come to realize your struggle is pointless and futile and decide to join
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the enemy as a final word of caution never trust NPCs the most dangerous creature in the cataclysm is still over humans and don't be surprised when someone plays innocent only to get close enough to aim across bow at your face and rob you blind if I had to describe this game in one sentence it would be single-player dayz except fun you can have someone call you a [ __ ] [ __ ] then immediately after asked you to avenge fair friend who got eaten in the woods by a Jabberwock the
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bipolarity of NPCs is hilarious and dangerous and really adds to the experience also the aforementioned Jabberwock half of a time vet quest completes itself so you don't have to do anything as either of a Jabberwock gets eaten by something else or steps on the landmine I hope I've convinced you to try the best post-apocalyptic cotton farming and crack-smoking simulator on the market also it's free so what have you got to lose as always more content to come so stay tuned a warm thank you
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to the many members of the ever growing merchants guild for funding these videos stay kosher [Music]

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