Gaslighting | Signs of Self-Inflicted Gaslighting

Gaslighting | Signs of Self-Inflicted Gaslighting

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00:00
hello friends today i'm talking about gaslighting but i'm talking about it from a different angle okay so i've done a lot of videos on how toxic people like malignant narcissists use gas lighting to cause you to doubt yourself to make you feel like you're crazy and to minimize your reality right and and basically to cause complete confusion so i've done a lot of videos and there's a lot of videos out there that are like that and it's important to know how people
00:32
use gaslighting and if you've been in relationships or if you were raised by parents that are on the scale of npd then it's important to understand how they used gas lighting to keep you in a disempowered emotional state right because the purpose of gaslighting is to minimize your experience to minimize your reality and therefore control you if you don't have a firm grip on on your truth
01:04
on your reality on what is right and wrong then you're a lot easier to control okay but here's the thing even if you remove all toxic people from your life okay and you know you've detoxed you have left anyone that was trying to emotionally and psychologically destroy you and now you're on your own or you're with other members of your family that are relatively healthy i say relatively because none of us are completely healthy
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and that's a good thing right because you are not dealing with the gaslighting externally however if you don't realize ways that you may have internalized that behavior then the toxic people can be gone from your life but you will continue to have a distorted view of reality and inability to trust yourself you will still continue to feel confused and it'll be impossible for you to be
02:06
healthy or to feel healthy and empowered okay so let's talk about the three ways that you might be gaslighting yourself and with that in mind for those that don't know me my name is michelle i'm a life and relationship coach specializing in complex ptsd also the founder of the thriver school of transformation which is an interactive monthly membership where we meet live weekly and we talk together about all of the things i talk about on my channel so if that's something you think you
02:37
might be interested in make sure you check out the link in the description box below okay so the first way the first way that you might be gaslighting yourself is with red flags in other words you start picking up that somebody's behavior is off right you start noticing things and your alarm bells inside go off your your body's sending you sensations that something isn't right and what do you do you start
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minimizing your perception by saying things like oh you're just being hyper sensitive or you're just being paranoid you know why are you looking at the negative but look at this positive you're not you know you're not viewing this the right way in other words your inner self has internalized that behavior of gaslighting and when it spots something the voice in your mind that kicks on
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is like the same voice as the narcissist it's it's a voice that causes you to feel disconnected from your truth from the feelings that are coming up in your body and you start to mistrust them especially if you grew up with parents that were malignant narcissists and that engaged in gaslighting you really have to listen to that voice that comes on because every inner voice was once an outer voice and do you want
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the gaslighting voice of a malignant narcissist being the voice that kicks on every time you notice something or something about someone's behavior okay so that's one way the second way that we can often gaslight ourselves is by minimizing our own feelings and stifling them making ourselves feel bad for even having them so this usually comes up strongly with the emotions that
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when you were in the relationship with the toxic person the emotions that you weren't allowed to feel so those emotions might be anger like if if they hurt you and they abused you and said horrible things and you got upset you were gaslit to the point that you felt bad for being upset that they were abusing you i mean that's how crazy it gets right well oftentimes that gets internalized as well especially if it comes from
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childhood and you somebody may treat you wrong somebody at work might be disrespectful or cross your boundary somebody at home might say something harsh or cruel that hurts your feelings and you can gaslight yourself by trying to convince yourself that that it's wrong to be upset so you have to watch where and when am i minimizing my emotions
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okay there's no right or wrong with emotions i remember i remember asking somebody once you know is it wrong that i'm upset that when i said this this person said that and that hurt me like is that wrong i now know that any person that comes to me in coaching that says do you think that that's wrong that i was sad or upset or angry that that is a person that has experienced gaslighting because when you can't even distinguish and hold
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on to the reality of what is healthy behavior and what isn't it's because your reality has been spun around so much that it got confusing okay so if you notice yourself asking things like that and and there's no toxic person in your life anymore start evaluating where you might be gaslighting yourself okay and it starts with or at least overcoming it starts with allowing yourself to validate your real experience without judgment without wondering if
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it's right or wrong it's just noticing this is what i'm feeling i'm allowed to feel this and allowing yourself to own whatever feelings come up now obviously the way we express our feelings we want to be careful about but feelings aren't bad or wrong okay the third way you might be gaslighting yourself is with your inner critic remember with gaslighting by a narcissist a lot of it was just really confusing a
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lot of it was with insinuations accusations that were all the time just there right so we need to you need to listen to that inner critic and what it's saying is that inner critic that is existing now in you is it supportive is it compassionate does it have your back or are you living now with an inner critic that has adopted the personality of the narcissist and if that's the case
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the good thing is is that you can change your inner critic it does take time it does take effort but you can turn that inner critic into a compassionate dialogue so that your inner voice becomes a voice that helps you move forward instead of hindering your progress so i challenge you to start looking in areas of your life where you might be gaslighting yourself now if you notice that the point of the video isn't to berate and judge you right or
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for you to judge you harshly for doing this you have to have compassion because if you've been around something for a long time we wind up internalizing them it's not about getting angry at what you've internalized it's about bringing it into your conscious awareness so that now that it's there you can do something about it when it's not in your conscious awareness that gaslighting that internalized gaslighting will just continue to steal your happiness to keep you from
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feeling connected to self from not being able to trust yourself and who wants that right so i hope this helps and remember that if you're struggling by yourself and you feel like it's not the videos aren't enough and that you need a little bit more interactive help then check out the thriver school of transformation we meet live every week for the month of july we're talking about trauma induced codependency so if it's something you feel you could
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benefit from make sure you check it out

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