How to Deal With Negative Emotions | Eckhart Tolle Teachings

How to Deal With Negative Emotions | Eckhart Tolle Teachings

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Language: English

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00:08
the feeling first of all needs to be acknowledged and accepted you can't start with letting go so you have to start with acknowledging it and accepting that it's there because it's part of what is the is-ness of the present moment whether it's an external thing or an inner thing it is it is what is and
00:42
to deny or to argue with what is creates suffering so you acknowledge you accept that it's there then how much time you need to be with it depends varies from person to person and what kind of feeling it is and so on and then the question
01:15
arises what is the link between that feeling and your thought processes the person needs to find out whether the thought processes keep that feeling continuously whether they renew by playing out for example a past scenario in their
01:48
minds by reviving memories from the past by dwelling on certain narratives that are painful repeating them in their minds that gives renewed energy to the feeling so the first the most important thing is to be aware of both levels what's the level of my thinking how does that contribute
02:18
to the perpetuation of what i feel and so you also then acknowledge that all these these are the habitual thought patterns that go through my mind in relation to the feelings and then the you would begin to realize that the letting go the most important step in letting go of feelings is to cut the link between your thinking and what you're feeling how do you do that
02:49
you do it by by being aware of your thinking and realizing that that thinking is pain it feeds the old feeling and the narrative whatever it is is a painful narrative and you realize that you've been keeping it alive for some years and you when you there's some enough awareness you realize that it
03:20
has no purpose except to make you unhappy and to perpetuate that feeling however it has you need and this this is how you can help or any counselor or therapist or spiritual teacher can help the other person by observing the feeling
03:50
and seeing how the mind the mental narrative has so both the mental narrative and the feeling haven't seem to have a life of their own and if they have been in there for a long long time they don't want to go what they want is they want you to be identified with them they don't want you to be conscious of them
04:24
so this is really the the mind aspect of the pain body and the emotion of it the pain body is predominantly in an emotion but there is a mental aspect that that the pain body needs to rise up into your mind in order to feed on certain types of thinking in this case the old narrative so you also need enough awareness to know that this this thing does not want
04:54
to go because there's a momentum behind thought patterns that have been active in your mind for a long time so there's a momentum behind it so you need to be acutely aware of the process of how it creates further pain and when you look through it and see that's actually what it does then you've recognized you cannot be deceived anymore by completely believing in it every time it happens in other words you see that you create
05:27
your own pain ultimately when you see that that's the beginning of the end and then you can reach a stage when you the the pain is no longer the feeling is no longer fueled by thinking then you arrive at a stage where you realize i don't need the feeling anymore in fact you don't need to let go because then when you do not revive it any continuously it subsides by itself
05:57
so you don't need to actually say i must let go it lets go of you rather than you need to let go it's because you're no longer giving it energy you're no longer feeling it so that's the process so you need to let go it's a bit like saying you need to forgive that's another one like that you need to really need to forgive okay i'll try i'll really i have you forgiven your parents yeah i
06:30
think i have but the forgiveness again is in a similar way happens naturally when you look when first of all you realize that no human being can act beyond their level of consciousness at that time when they acted so if you haven't forgiven your parents and then you can see they behaved the way they did because they could all have done otherwise
07:04
my father for example i loved him dearly well especially after i became conscious and before i became quantized a love hate relationship with him and he i found him very obnoxious but but there was love there too emotional enough but then when i was free i could love him unconditionally and then i could see that pattern in him that produced so much gave me so much pain
07:38
his uncontrollable anger most of mostly fortunately not directly towards me but directly towards my mother but the anger that was directed by my father towards my mother hurt me probably more than it hurt my mother as a little as a child and his anger was so explosive it could flare up at any moment so you you're always walking on
08:10
eggshells and when i was seven eight i already knew my mother seemingly never learned it i already knew what comment that she made would immediately produce the anger i knew that when i was seven she didn't never learned it and so i was ready i was listening to my mother saying oh no she's saying that and so there was i had a dream when i was seven or eight
08:50
in i was asleep and had this dream and in the dream there i was there was a a bag under under my bed and in that bag were the body parts of my dad i had cut him up and had put all his body parts into it hidden it under the bed so i was i didn't the actual cutting up wasn't in the dream that had already happened somewhere else you're just cleaning up yeah so i was
09:22
pushing him under my bed and then still in the dream at that moment i heard the front door opening and my dad was coming in and i ran towards him and gave him a hug so that shows the conflicting feelings and then later i realized i realized where that anger came from don't need to go into this it of course it goes back to childhood how he was
09:51
treated in his family the seventh child the youngest child nobody wanted him anymore the mother was tired he was wasn't giving much given much attention not treated well by his female his sisters and so on the long story don't need to go into that it came all from there it originated from there anger towards his mother and so on and so on and later i realized he
10:23
he could not help himself he did not have the awareness he was take got taken over by this anger and the moment i realized that he that was he acted according to his level of consciousness at the time i didn't need to forgive anymore because there was nothing to forgive anymore i had and that's a beautiful thing so again similar to letting go feelings when enough awareness comes in
10:54
the feeling let's go let's go of you and all becomes transmuted into something an energy field that is good and so forgiveness again cannot really be practiced in the same way that letting go can't really be practiced it just happens and then that's how it is you

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