Seven Types Of Narcissists

Seven Types Of Narcissists

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[Music] you let's begin today by me giving you a very simple analogy let's suppose that you and I are walking into a restaurant and I ask you that basic question that tends to go along with something like that and I say what do you feel like eating today and you may say well I think I'd like some fish okay what does that mean well it may mean that you have heard that they cook trout real well
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there or that they fix salmon real good or perhaps it's halibut that you're after or it could be that you heard that these people prepare the sea bass in a way that's just to die for so when you say I want some fish well there are actually many subcategories that we could be going towards exactly which one are you talking about okay that's a real simple analogy now let's bring it over into the human analogy and let's suppose that as we're talking you say well I'm dealing with a person who's a strong narcissist and I'm trying to
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figure that out well when you say narcissist well that can also have many different subcategories now let's keep in mind that there are certain common themes that are there with every single narcissus just like they're our commonalities in the fish category narcissists want to be in control they have low levels of empathy they have high levels of entitlement they tend to be exploitive and manipulative and they don't receive input well they have what I call an alternate reality those kinds
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of things and so you may be talking about in that category but today I want to identify with you at least seven different subcategories that meet we may be referring to and each of them has their distinction just like each type of fish has its distinction so the first subcategory of narcissism that I want to identify here is what I would refer to as the status or the vanity narcissism now many times we refer to these folks
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is the beautiful people you know there are some people that having that look of external success and that measure that says I've achieved something I've arrived I am a somebody you know that these are individuals who who can go very heavily towards the external show that says you are a really important person these people want to have the fine clothes or they want to drive the nice car they can be very attention-seeking they like somebody saying hey did you see that person over there look who he is really because she
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is they have to look right they have to be with the right kind of people they are validated by their accomplishments and their their things that they have they want to be up here impressive now these individuals can be very snobby to the point of being very condescending towards other individuals particularly those who might be considered lesser vanity and just looking wonderful and having the superficial passing kinds of things is very important to these people
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now there's another category that has some similarity but they take it into a little bit of a different direction and this category a second one is what I would refer to as the entitled narcissist now these people may or may not have the vanity factor but these are individuals who must be unique this person is thinking I'm not like the rest of you slobs out there that have to do life according to all the rules and regulations I'm different and so these
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people will look at social norms or expectations and think well maybe for someone else but not for me it's kind of interesting sometimes these folks will have you know ticket speeding tickets that are in there and glove compartments like oh that's just a joke that's funny this looks like I do whatever I want to do when it comes to that kind of thing or they may refuse to do menial tasks because well that's that's beneath me I'm entitled you need to do tasks for me but I'm not going to do tasks for you they they when they're told that they
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are supposed to conform they almost feel insulted like do you know who I am if anything you need to just be thankful that I'm in your presses and there's just kind of the sense it says the world owes me well just a lot of attention a lot of goodwill because well because I'm me I'm just different and they're always in search for favored tree they want to be at the favored place and and they want to sit at the favored position there as well or a third category and this is one that I have
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talked about in some of the videos and that's the malignant narcissist now picking up on that word malignant these are individuals who can being destructive in the way that they maintain their control over other individuals these are cold and calculating people that they don't really care about what their behaviors do to other individuals and if you hurt well then you just got you got and just got in my way now that's too bad you're you because you're you're expendable and
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so a malignant narcissist is somebody that that has a little a very very low level of empathy they have little appreciation for someone else's struggles or suffering they almost seem to enjoy harming other individuals because it's like look there's one way in this world that things ought to be and it's my way and if you're not doing things my way you are expendable and that's the way the malignant narcissist thinks now a fourth category that we can
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have and I've also commented on this and some other videos is the covert narcissist now these people tend not to be very openly flashy or flamboyant and if anything they tend to run beneath the radar and for a while as you're engaging with them you may think that you're with somebody who's kind of normal but over time you begin realizing the the covert narcissist wants nothing to do with accountability they can be coy and secretive and you realize I don't really
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know this person nearly as well as I thought I did now the term passive-aggressive is commonly used in as we discuss the covert narcissist they can have anger and agitation but they'll they'll make sure that they play it out in more silent punishing kinds of ways they want dominance but they do it in a quiet stubborn kind of a they can have a strong attitude of disdain towards people who disagree with them but instead of screaming and
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shouting that not that they don't ever do it then they hold grudges and they don't forgive and they don't forget they can be cold and uncaring and heartless and very commonly they don't have a lot of humor about them it's like just kind of this quiet and I don't do things the way the rest of you poor people out there do now there's a fifth category and and I'm going to call this the fragile victim mindset or the fragile victim narcissists these are people who
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tend to be highly manipulative in a helpless sort of way they're they may kind of think like well I wish that I could do certain things but you know I've been struggling over here and I can't seem to figure out how to do these things and then someone comes along and says well here I'll take care of that for you and so they they just talk about well the world has just kind of thrown bad things in my direction and I don't know what to do now and so another person will say well you poor person well I'll take care of that and I'll
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I'll do whatever your bidding is and in essence the the the victim or the fragile narcissist has this this mindset it says what are you gonna do for me next and whatever way they have to position themselves to get you to play the servants role towards them it's like hey this is working pretty good I've got you going and so they have an ongoing sense of helplessness and after a while you realize you know what being helped never does seem to get you any better
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and receiving kindness and gifts and acts of servitude it's never enough you're never satisfied in fact these people are always wanting more more more and eventually you wind up going away from them thinking I'm being played by this person in their helplessness they have a very wily form of control but they just don't want to say that that's what it is now the sixth category these folks you're not to have a whole lot of question mark
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about where you stand with them this is what I would refer to as the stubborn know-it-all narcissist you know there's some people but that feel like they they need absolutely no direction or no guidance from any one these are very poor listeners they're excellent tellers they'll tell you all the things that you need to know and how things are supposed to be done doesn't matter if they're wrong they're just going to tell you anyway here's how you're supposed to handle that and everybody else's saying no that's not the way we do it oh yes it
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is they can argue with a tree stump they just are very stubborn their favorite phrases might be things like I disagree or that's not right or here let me let me take that know that kind of person they have a very high opinion of themselves even when it may not be warranted or it may be that they are very intelligent and they know it which is why they think yeah you need to listen to me because I know everything I need to know they often are very strongly driven by the need to win and
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they're very competitive they like to be one up over other individuals and in their mind they think I'm needed in this world to keep everybody else lined up because I'm always right okay very important and then a seventh category and this this one has some overlap with the sixth one and that is the control freak now this might be somebody who can be very perfectionistic they have exacting standards as to how things are supposed to be and if you do something
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and it seems to you to be adequate to the job it's like no that's not good enough and and so you're never going to measure up to them they can be very bossy they can be easily and critical they can be crazy thin-skinned and defensive because you know if they have to be in control and if you say well I'd like to do things a little bit different then it's like I can't believe you're even thinking that way and they take any kind of difference from you as a personal offense against them and as a
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result they also have a very level of empathy and they they just don't care about what your unique perspective might be that you bring with your life because well the only thing that matters is me being in control and you just kind of falling in line now those are seven subcategories to narcissism and the common themes that we're going to see in them are first you're not allowed to be you because you're supposed to cater to me so I'm
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hoping that as you see that it's kind of like there are many different kind of fish in the sea well there are many different kinds of narcissists on the spectrum and these are individuals who may show or play out their self-absorption under control in very different ways your task is to know what you're up against and to understand that regardless of which angle they come at you with they want to rob you of being you and so as you see it as you know it as you understand where they're coming
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from you can determine well if this is the way they want to do life that's their business I'm not required to get inside their sphere or their orbit and live according to whatever they're neurotic reasoning is these individuals are not the people I'm going to be looking for for guidance in my personal way of living now I hope that you do find benefit and videos such as this right beneath the surface excuse me right beneath the video you're gonna see the subscribe button actually
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it's not a button but you know I'm saying hit that button and and we'll keep you apprised of more videos that come along and also beneath the video you're going to notice some links to some books and online videos and online counseling possibilities and I hope that you would avail yourself to that if you find that necessary you may recover my right shoulder over here old Gus is back there I've been kind of taking the snooze I'm gonna give him a test in a few minutes and see if he was even even listening to what I had to say but right now he looks like he's kind of kind of
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taking it easy today anyway say hi to Gus alright I appreciate you being here with me know that I take my role in this very seriously I'm glad that you're along with us here on the surviving NARS some network [Music]

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