20 Character Traits Of The Family Scapegoat

20 Character Traits Of The Family Scapegoat

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00:00
so what is it with scapegoats giving to other people wanting to give to other people really wanting to give to other people and sabotaging yourselves at the same time what is it that's number one characteristic of scapegoats this is delaney k daylight out of darkness please look below like this video subscribe to me i offer coaching i'm excellent this is the field that i specialize in i can help you if you're dealing with family dysfunction
00:30
also donations are very much appreciated but back to our 20 different characteristics number two is that we're way too easy at giving and without receiving so this is something that we have to work on the other the next thing number three is we have an external locus of control we believe that we have no control over our world
01:03
when it's an internal locus of control it means that you are in control of your world now i'm not saying that we can't get out of this but these are the characteristics that we come out of when we've been the family scapegoat we come out with a lot of these characteristics and we have to work on them we can change them we can turn them around but we've got to first recognize them we're overly emotional reactional
01:33
and we've developed that because the characters in the scapegoating family would have pressed our buttons you must probably had a narcissist within your family of origin if you were the family scapegoat and narcissists need narcissistic supply and so we're set up that they can push they know which buttons to push and because we don't understand and we think whatever they're saying is crazy or they don't understand it freaks us out even more
02:06
and we have to realize that the more that we freak out the worse things get because that's how energy works we have to calm down and we've got to realize the game the game that's been played so number five number five is that we feel with it unworthy within ourselves so a lot of our personal endeavors are stunted but once we start realizing this and and going within and changing these beliefs
02:38
we can turn that around number six is that we often go through periods of time loneliness being all alone um more most of the time even when you're with the family of origin you feel lonely because of the way you're treated and then once you go no contact of course you're going to be alone and we're going to experience times of loneliness because you have to be with on your own for a while to
03:08
rebalance yourself the masculine and feminine energy the divine masculine feminine we both we have both aspects within us and they are out of balance when we've been in a family where we were scapegoated number seven is that our self-esteem and self-confidence are lowered and we don't achieve our potential you know
03:42
we have to rebuild up our self-confidence because if you don't believe you can do something then you can't do it it's all about what your belief is and you definitely can do it it's all about your mindset number eight is that we're often people pleasers we do stuff that we don't want to do but you know we just we just we we have this within us that we have to please other people number nine is
04:15
that we find it very difficult to make up our own minds without asking other people and that's been caused because we were invalidated because we were gaslit so much when we were the family scapegoat so that's something to work on you know getting to know yourself getting to know your inner feelings listening to your inner voice and making a decision sometimes just pushing yourself to make a decision not going backwards and forwards all the time
04:45
number 10 is that we sabotage ourselves because we feel that we're undeserving and and that we're somehow we're guilty of something and that we don't deserve the best so we go ahead and we do stuff that actually hurts us and again as we become more aware we can change these patterns number 11 is that we often are not authentic
05:17
when we're around others and the reason being is because we don't believe that others will like us if we're authentic again because that's what our experience was in our family of origin number 12 is that we find it really easy to pick up when there's deception but then we still follow through with allowing the people to go ahead with it because we we don't like standing up to
05:49
them so even though we pick up the deception sometimes we lie to ourselves and say oh no no no even though you feel those feelings and um we we pretend we didn't and then um the next one is number 13 we have a really hard time saying no we want to say no but we end up saying yes that's a something that is you know other people have issues with that as well but
06:23
especially in the scapegoat because we so much wanted that approval and we think if we say yes that will get that approval and and that's actually not the case number 14 is that we are more susceptible to addictions and the reason for that is because we it's self-medicating for that emotional pain that we experienced as the scapegoat and then we might have been guilted over
06:55
that as well so um you know realizing where it might have come from might help it's you know it's still our responsibility to get through it and you know heal what's below it so that we can get rid of the addictions number 15 is that we suffer from chronic anxiety in fact it's so chronic that half the time we don't even realize we have it we just walk around just feeling horrible all the time and eventually our
07:27
muscles are so sore because the cortisol's so high and it's tensed up our muscles we end up with pain in our muscles and you know all all kinds of other issues caused from that so it's important to you know feel how am i feeling now what what is the feeling that i'm feeling and and looking into the techniques and that that you can use to change that well i'll go into that in in another video
07:57
i have i have spoken about some of the techniques before but anyway and the next one is number 16. um you're more likely to have either an anxious or an avoidant avoidant attachment style that's when you go into relationships and you either a lot of us actually are very clingy we don't we find it difficult to get out of relationships even when they are damaging to us
08:27
and um or else we don't want to get too close because we're afraid of being hurt or we were neglected as as children so we've developed those types of attachment styles and it's important to understand what your attachment style is so that you can reason through the responses that you're having and that will help you to find ways around it number 17 is that we show our cards too much we
08:59
are too open and we try to explain ourselves too much this is all giving away our power and we over explain which actually turns people off for us and then number 18 is we have a very very hard time with boundaries because boundaries were non-existent in our family of origin especially as a scapegoat
09:29
number 19 is that we tend to isolate because we have all this emotional trauma we have to and and it's natural we have to pull away and isolate and think about all the things that have happened and you know get your breath again but if you isolate for too long that's going to make things worse you're going to go into depression and then number 20 is that we often feel that we don't fit in
10:01
wherever we go and again that is um it's left over from being the family scapegoat obviously our ways of communicating and that would have been affected and because of a lot of our insecurities as well so i hope this was helpful and i would love to hear your uh what you would like to add to this list and as always have a wonderful day bye

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