Why The Narcissist Hates You, But Won't Let Go

Why The Narcissist Hates You, But Won't Let Go

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Language: English

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00:01
[Music] [Applause] [Music] so why the narcissist hates you but won't let go it may seem as though the narcissist hates you it may seem as though they can't stand to be in the same room as you but then they won't let go they hate you but they always want to be around you they can't spend a minute without you and this can be very confusing because normally when people hate
00:54
something [Music] they don't want to be around it [Music] if you go to a restaurant and you don't like the food or the service there you're probably not going to go back narcissists will return to you again and again [Music] even though they profess that they hate you even though they claim that you're not good enough for them or you're abusing them
01:26
[Music] when if they really believed that they probably wouldn't be around you no narcissist is going to tolerate that kind of treatment [Music] it would cause a narcissistic injury and they would do whatever it takes to destroy you but the narcissist wants you to believe that they hate everything that you're doing
02:04
which doesn't really add up because if they hated it they probably wouldn't be around you [Music] the truth is that narcissists cannot survive without you which is why they will hold on to you for dear life but they want you to think that what you're doing is good enough [Music] they want to keep you looking at yourself rather than seeing that they're not
02:39
doing anything for you when you meet a narcissist you soon discover that they have nothing to bring to the table they might have potential it might look like they're working towards something but it never manifests into anything great it's just future faking they're just making you believe that if you hold on a little longer you will eventually get something back in return but that never happens and even if they
03:22
did manifest anything they would only keep it to themselves they're not going to share it with you regardless of how much you have given to them narcissists are in survival mode all they can think about is their own survival they can't consider you when they constantly feel like they're hanging off the edge of a cliff and no matter what you do for them it will never make them feel like they're safe or secure it has nothing to do with you you cannot change how someone feels about themselves but no matter what you do for them they
04:00
will always want more and they will never think about giving anything back to you in return [Music] when you get involved with a narcissist you will notice that they never have anything to bring to the table it's always the other person that's bringing something to them it's like the narcissist thinks they are the table there's always something going on with them there's always something they want there's always something they need you to do it's like they can't do anything on
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their own like they're big babies it's like they constantly need to be burped or fed the main difference is that narcissists never grow or develop they always stay the same so you don't get to look forward to a future where they are finally able to do things for themselves well they aren't constantly depending on you [Music] they will always need you around it's like they're handicapped it's like they have a condition that restricts their ability to function physically mentally or socially
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and that is why they always need you around the narcissist may hate you but they won't let go because they need you they need your money they need you to take care of their domestic duties they need someone to use as their emotional punching bag [Music] and no matter how hurt you may be about how they're treating you it's not going to change their behavior when you reveal your vulnerabilities or human emotions it will only make them hate you even more
05:57
[Music] because they want the focus to be on them they're the victims here they're the ones who need assistance that's how they want you to see it and any time that you try to spend focusing on yourself will only make them resent you when you try to show the narcissist that they hurting you that's when you will see who they really are [Music] they will deny it or minimize it
06:33
they will gaslight you and shift the blame onto you [Music] but they will never hold themselves accountable they will never make consistent changes to their behavior because they don't really care about how you feel unless it has to affect how they feel about themselves all the narcissists really cares about is their own feelings and how they see themselves they don't even see you as a real person when they targeted you they saw you as an object
07:08
something that existed to meet their needs [Music] they saw everything that you had to offer but they had nothing to give to you and as a relationship progressed they began to milk more and more out of you they gradually raise their standards and expectations of you while giving you nothing in return but they have to minimize everything that you're doing they have to make you feel like you're
07:41
not doing enough because otherwise [Music] rather than looking at yourself and thinking you're not good enough you would look at them and realize how they've done nothing for you you would realize how much you've lost and how little you've received in return [Music] and of course the narcissist doesn't want you to meditate on that they don't want you to realize that they haven't even done a fraction of what you've done for them because once you accept that to be true
08:17
it means you've got to hit the brakes [Music] it means you've got to stop everything you're doing for them and they don't want it to stop they want to get as much they can get from you so they will trick you into thinking that you're not doing enough for them they will act like they don't appreciate everything you've done [Music] as though anyone else would do so much more
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[Music] when secretly they know that they are not deserving [Music] they know that there isn't an equal exchange [Music] they know that you deserve so much more than what they're giving to you but they will never tell you this because then that would mean that you would have to stop everything you're doing for them it means that they would have to start pouring into your cup
09:30
when they never had anything to give to [Music] you if the narcissist left you today you would probably be fine your quality of life would probably improve but although the narcissist hates you they have no choice but to stay because they're in survival mode and they know they can't survive on their
10:03
own they know that they would struggle without you [Music] and that is why they will hold on to you for dear life even though it may seem like they hate you because they have no other choice they will milk as much out of you as they can they have enough to move on or they will target a new source who has everything they need and then that out of there
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like you never existed because all they care about is what you can do for them or how you make them feel you're just an object to them they don't even see you as a real person but no matter how much you give to them or do for them it will always be minimized they will never be grateful they will always act like you could have done more they never brought anything to the table they never did anything for you
11:18
because you're dealing with someone who is emotionally underdeveloped it's like dealing with a child and they see you as a parent they expect you to give everything to them the child isn't supposed to give anything back to the parent it doesn't work that way and the narcissist is like a child that wants to be the parent they want the most beneficial part of both roles they want the entitlement of the child while having the authority and control
11:48
of the parent but like many teenagers may behave towards their parents [Music] the narcissist can hold a grudge and be very resentful they always feel like you should have done more for them and while that is understandable for someone at that age it's a completely different story when you're dealing with an adult someone who should be mature enough to take care of themselves without constantly depending on someone else but
12:24
this is what narcissism is all about a person who expects more from you than they expect from themselves a person who wants everything from you without giving you anything in return while making you feel like nothing you do is good enough but still sticking around because secretly they've got a good thing going on with you they get whatever they want whenever they want while putting in a minimal amount of time and effort
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but they will act like they're exhausted they will act like they can't do any more than what they've done when they haven't done a fraction of what you've done for them and you should already be able to see where this is going if they've only done a fraction of what you've done for them and they're still expecting and demanding more from you they're just going to milk as much out of you as they can and when they're done they're going to claim that you didn't do enough for them
13:41
they're going to say they were doing everything for you when in reality rather than being in a relationship it's like you were raising a child you invested all of your time energy and money things that you could have used to build yourself but instead it gets wasted on someone who doesn't even appreciate it and in return you get nothing back other than hate anger bitterness and resentment you become their caretaker someone to
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look after their emotional financial problems it's like you're giving everything you have to someone just so they can use it to destroy you it's like you're paying for your own execution they always leave you worse off than before you met them they come into your life with nothing and leave with everything [Music] thank you for watching i hope this video is with you
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please like comment share subscribe click the bell icon receive notifications for my future videos check out the new knoxville website at www.knoxville uk or you can read my blog post book coaching sessions and join our support forum if you'd like to donate my paypal link is in the video description coaching enquiries you can email me at
15:44
coaching at knox survivor educate uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon [Music] you

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