Cptsd 3 Self- Defeating LIES That Keep You STUCK

Cptsd 3 Self- Defeating LIES That Keep You STUCK

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hello friends today i want to do a quick video on zoom here i hope the quality comes out good but i want to talk about three lies that happen as the result of complex ptsd or at least three lies that become deeply ingrained in you if you are battling complex ptsd and these lies can keep you stuck and we don't want that to happen so let's dive in okay so for those that don't know me my name is michelle i'm a life and relationship coach i'm also the founder of the thriver school of transformation which is an interactive monthly
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membership where we meet together live weekly and we talk about everything i talk about on this channel and we find ways to put it into practice in our daily life so if that's something that you feel that you could benefit from make sure you check out the links in the description box below so with that in mind let's dive into those lies okay the first one is that you are broken you are damaged therefore you are unlovable okay now that's a lie that's deeply
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ingrained if you have cptsd especially because of emotional abuse or childhood trauma because that was the belief that the person in your life that hurt you was constantly instilling inside of you and if you wound up developing cptsd in in adulthood you can start to believe this lie especially when you think about who you were prior to going through the trauma right you can remember who you were
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and you feel so far removed from that person that the belief i'm damaged i'm messed up is so deep and it ties into that i'm unlovable as well because again the toxic people in your life want you wanted you to believe that and through their repetition plus emotion it infiltrated your subconscious right because our subconscious learns by two ways through repetition and emotion and narcissists if nothing else are consistent and they inflict a tremendous
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amount of negative emotion just by being around them okay but i just want to say i just want to say think about somebody that has a broken leg right their leg is broken like literally it's damaged but does that mean that they are unlovable no it means they have to recuperate right and somebody that has a broken leg they have to go through a healing process and maybe they have their leg in a cast and they're walking with
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crutches because they are healing but those crutches they're not going to stay in crutches forever the cast doesn't stay forever the bone heals well guess what the same thing happens with cptsd cptsd is the the side effect of having your brain rewired because of trauma it changed because of negative neuroplasticity but if it changed that way well
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positive neuroplasticity can help bring it back you just have to go through that crutches period where you are healing but just like the person actually with literal crutches is just as lovable while they're in their crutches as when they their bone is healed it's the same thing with your brain it's the same thing with the side effects of cptsd you are lovable as your healing as well lie number two is that you will have cptsd for the rest of your life and you
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will never heal and nothing will ever work other people can heal but you can't okay this is something that i see a lot with members in the drivers school of transformation sometimes have this belief because the reality is and this is a hard reality but the reality is is that healing does take time sometimes we wish there was like an on off button or a delete everything that's not serving us and let's just start the behaviors and beliefs that are serving us but that doesn't happen
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there is a time period where you have to give yourself in order to heal because what you're doing is you are actually creating new neural pathways towards healing and our neural pathways take time we have to be consistent we have to do the same repetition plus emotion but in a positive way in order to help ourselves to heal and so it takes time for the new thoughts the new behaviors to strengthen
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and for the old ones to atrophy now i'm going to be honest there was a time that i was stuck in this lie i thought i was never going to heal like i had a before and after in my head of who i was the before the trauma really set into my body and who i became after and i was stuck in the after for more years than i care to admit but thankfully thankfully through persistence patience compassion
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and looking forward instead of using the past as my guide of who i was going to be i got there and if i can do it if i can do it anybody can do it okay so don't believe anyone that makes you feel like if you have cptsd you're going to be like this forever it's a lie the third lie that i see a lot that people struggle with is that isolation isolating yourself keeping yourself out of romantic relationships keeping yourself out of um reciprocal
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friendships is the only way to keep you safe now obviously if you're not in any romantic relationships or if you're isolating yourself from friends and or um healthy family members in a way you're going to be safe because you're not going to be interacting right with people which is going to make sure that you're not your triggers aren't going to be activated your fears aren't going to need to be faced and
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so there's a bit of safety right in not interacting with people however when you think about the long-term damage that happens you have to weigh out the costs because while isolation might keep you safe from some things the reality is is that a lot of the people that i work with tell me that they really suffer from from being alone the loneliness of being by themselves because they they don't have anyone else around them and they haven't learned
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how to be there for themselves either so it's really a deep seated deep rooted loneliness that they are going through which is painful so it doesn't keep you safe from that also it's important to understand that isolation if you think it keeps you safe it also keeps you stuck so here's the thing when it comes to cptsd if you've developed fears right if you've developed triggers and you remove everything in your life
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that caused you those fears which might be people um and you've removed anything in your life that uh caused you to to feel triggered you may not feel the fear and you may not feel the trigger but they don't diminish with time if anything avoidance feeds the fear and the fear gets stronger the fears get more powerful and your world and your sense of safety continues to shrink okay so it's
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something to keep in mind now a lot of the fears around relationships were caused because of relationships right with people that you trust well healing involves getting a different emotional response in relationships in other words if you accomplish something that you were proud of in a toxic relationship and you shared it you probably were met with something very negative and it taught you if i'm proud of myself or if i do
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something that i'm proud of or that i like it's met with negativity so i'm just not going to do anything well that belief will stay strong until it's challenged until you get a different emotional response so being a part of a group or a friend group or reaching out to friends or cultivating relationships gives you the opportunity to change your the associations that your brain has with certain behaviors so for example in my thrivers school of transformation
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once a month we have exercises that we do that help us to expand that window of tolerance and one of the exercises is to talk positive about yourself you know talk about your accomplishments the things that you like about yourself now remember if you were raised with narcissistic parents anything that's about you was met with negativity well in the group after you share everyone validates and and says something positive about what you did and your brain starts
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to say or starts to get a different association and think oh you know i'm allowed i'm allowed to like myself i'm allowed to be proud of myself and it starts changing how you feel about situations but it's only something that takes place when you're willing to allow yourself to be around people and allow yourself to have different experiences because that's going to change your neural pathways and it's going to help you to lead towards uh healing but again that can only take
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place when you are ready so no one can tell you when you're ready only you will know when when you're ready to start leaving isolation and selecting people that you feel safe with but i wanted to share these three lies i wanted to share them because i wish i understood this 10 years ago honestly i wish i had this information when i was young and in that way i could have challenged a lot of beliefs and lies
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that i allowed to run my life so i'm hoping i'm hoping that this could help you and if you need any help and you're having you know trouble working through these things on your own remember there's an international group of people in the school of transformation that are on the same journey that give an amazing amount of support as well so once again the link is in the description below

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