Total Recall (2012) Movie Review

Total Recall (2012) Movie Review

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Language: English

Type: Robot

Number of phrases: 266

Number of words: 1913

Number of symbols: 8349

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00:00
seem like you're looking for something isn't this you're gonna wish you had three hands looking for Rico oh no not me I'm not gonna bend over and take this boy they really hit us where it hurts this time my brother's look and bask in the glory of what all men remember about the original Total Recall a lovely naked mutant with three perfectly placed knockers very tasteful no bush now she's been replaced by a fully clothed asian hooker what the fuck happened to this
00:30
world gentlemen what happened I mean doesn't the Constitution guarantees the right to life nudity in the pursuit of happiness codemonkey get up get coffee code monkey go to job code monkey hat boring meeting boring manager Rob rush rather awake a Peter coffee cake take bath me now this job will feeling in creative way such a load of crap code
01:01
monkey think so what a secret hard welcome back full master of hues I'm Adam Jay you know I remember all the badass action movies I grew up on and one that clearly sticks out in my mind is total recall now I gotta admit although I grew up on it I wasn't much of a fan of this when I was younger with the exceptions of Arnold the cool looking mutants and the action nothing really stuck out to me as a kid however as an adult I started to understand more
01:59
of the story I got more of the humor and I started to appreciate it a lot more I can clearly see why it's considered the classic why so many people love it and I can certainly concede that it is one of the most inventive and interesting sci-fi films ever made the film for lack of better terms was a mindfuck a sort of early inception if you will it told the story of douglas quaid who wants more out of life and fed up with his normal everyday existence goes to recall a
02:30
company that can implant a fake memory into his brain for a sort of vacation but as soon as he's plugged into the chair recall something goes wrong it turns Quaid's world upside down he discovers that his life was a lie it was all an implanted memory that he thought he had lived and he is soon thrown into a battle with Mars's chancellor cohaagen and a group of mutant rebels but here's the real mind fuck of the film that has never answered for you is this all real or his Quaid still strapped to the chair it recalled that is the real mystery
03:00
behind the film you never knew if Quaid was a week or dreaming it's also noteworthy that I was adapted from the short story we can remember it for you wholesale like bill k dick although I got to admit the movie is a lot more interesting as much as I love philip k dick i consider we can remember it for you wholesale kind of b-list in comparison to most of his other stories it's a rare case when the movie is actually better than the source now of course Hollywood has done a remake of photo Rico and I can easily say this is
03:29
not recall it's semi recalled its quasi recall it's Jr recall it's the diet coke of Rico that's one calorie not even enough however however as much as I didn't like this film as a remake I still found myself enjoying it and at first I couldn't figure out why then I thought back to some other remakes and it hit me I have the same issue with this movie that I do
04:08
with the remake of halloween liking it is a matter of perspective as a remake it's pitiful the story isn't as good most of the characters aren't as complex there's no Mars none of the mind games and sadly no mutants which is weird because we clearly saw a chick with three knockers I gotta tell you that's either a plot hole a blessing or some really badass plastic surgery yes a remake case a point there wasn't much memorable about this but as a standalone
04:40
action film the acting is good well for the most part anyway the CG is breathtaking and the action is terrifically shot people used to ask me why I didn't have a rating system back in the day well folks it's because of movies like this because in the case of total recall the remake I am torn I really don't know what rating to give us in the end because on one hand I have a pitiful pointless remake on the other hand I have a highly enjoyable action film so yeah there it is now again I
05:13
gotta be fair this does follow some of the original film's story not all of it obviously but the first 30 minutes is pretty much note-for-note shot-for-shot like the original douglas quaid played this time by colin farrell a very underrated actor is bored with his everyday routine and goes to recall now it started to piss me up around here because they had the woman with the free knockers and didn't show us anything ok I know that I'm starting to sound kind of immature about this and I am very
05:45
sorry but as a fan of the original Total Recall I demand me some mutant hooters god I wish but anyway it pretty much goes down the way the original did Quaid goes to recall shit goes down he kills some guys and goes home to where his wife played this time Beckinsale tries to kill him then everything just seems to fall flat and get generic story-wise we get some things that resemble the original but nothing that's anywhere near as memorable it still has Dugway trying to
06:17
figure out the truth about the strange u-turn is like to suddenly taken but because there is no Mars mutants or mystery the very heart of the original film is lost that's really my biggest problem is that instead of taking the established material and building a bigger better story around it screenwriter Kurt Wimmer just exceed everything memorable in favor of making a basic brainless action film wow it's almost as if Kurt Wimmer doesn't know how to write fuck you and fuck you ha oh
06:47
yes I went there the script is ultimately the biggest downfall of this entire film instead of incredibly badass looking mutants we just have a select few rebel humans led by a severely underused Bill Nye and the blame Jessica Biel who I swear could double as a would stump she is atrocious in this movie and doesn't even hold a candle to Rachel ticket ins performance in the original instead of Mars we just get a futuristic earth yay how original and instead of
07:22
the mind games that were present in the original film we just get paint-by-numbers dilemmas there's one scene thrown into this film out of fucking nowhere where Quaid is made to ponder whether he's a week or still in the chair recall but that only lasts a minute and it's never brought up again I honestly would have had more respect for this remake if they instead of actually remaking the story from the original film went back and did a straight faithful adaptation of philip k dick story in fact Jessica Biel told sources
07:54
months ago that that was what this film was gonna be gee that's weird I guess after I died women started lying huh they ever start using sex to give them one I'm out of here this has less to do with the original story then the first Total Recall film did I mean if they had done that I still don't think it would have topped the original but it would be far more interesting than what they did here and I would have liked it more for being true the source material as far as the acting goes in the film it's quite
08:27
good with the exception of Jessica Biel who always actually she's doing a fucking soap opera but I digress Colin Farrell is fine in this movie he's fine for this role dirt honestly I just see so many reviews that are condemning him and blaming him for the problems with this movie he was not the problem with this movie not by any stretch he's no Schwarzenegger but he did a damn good job and he was not the problem whatsoever kate beckinsale is by far the
08:57
best thing in this movie she's cold evil and ruthlessly badass she steals every scene she's in and to be honest I liked her better than Sharon Stone i'll be ten honest about that you might want to give you a little girlfriend a kiss goodbye no she doesn't mind were those lips in bed sweetheart you reasonable after all we're married consider that a divorce as
09:49
I said before yeah Bill Nye is in this but he's does nothing in this movie I mean it really makes me wonder why Bill Murray was even in this I mean cuz he's such a big actor now hey anyone could have played this role this character Mathias did nothing oh and by the way yeah we have Mathias is the leader of the resistance now there's no cuanto because there's no mutants yeah wonderful I liked Bryan Cranston as Co Hagen but again he did almost nothing
10:19
he's barely in the movie and when he is the character never really comes off as interesting until the climax at the end the CGI in this film was masterful it didn't look fake it didn't look choppy it was just beautiful to look at however I do have to say i prefer the practical effects in the original film but that's just me and probably most of you but in this action movie it's the action and fight scenes that really steal the show from the elevator scene to the final climactic battle at the end the action in this movie just fucking rocks and is
10:51
beautifully shot by director Len Wiseman Wiseman is a good director well for the most part anyway the problem is he just didn't have a good script to work with while he was able to salvage a good action film the scrip refused to let him salvage a decent reaming to be fair Wiseman he did his job to the best of his abilities overall I'm just torn with Total Recall I used to not have ratings for exactly this reason so I'm just gonna have to give it two separate ratings as a remake this movie is
11:23
getting two stars out of me only because a few scenes recreated from the original are entertaining but that's about it as a standalone action flick yeah it's mindless violence but it's enjoyably fun and action-packed mindless violence so as just an action movie I'm awarding it three and a half stars not good but entertaining no or no less how did he get activated
11:57
I want him alive tell me what's going on just try to recover within your head robot do not bring that trapped up in here motherfucker this is my half picture stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape you

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